Setbacks, part 1

Setbacks are an inevitable part of life.

As difficult as it is to believe when you're going through them, we all really DO learn from them... They're the things that build character, right?

So what do we all say when we try to make sense of bad news? and what is bad news? It's usually when something that you didn't want to happen, happens anyway despite your best efforts to prevent it. And in those moments, you gotta love all the clichés:

• There's more fish in the Sea
• Everything happens for a Reason
• It's business, not personal
• and of course: When God shuts a door, He opens a window!!

But is there any truth in those words or are we really just trying to make ourselves feel better? I used to think it was just the latter, but here's another cliché for you that I never dreamed I'd hear myself repeat: The older I've gotten, the wiser I've gotten and I realized that it all really is how you look at it.

Yep - there I said it.

All the books and all the lectures and all the sermons, self help books, and even those Guidebooks on everything from becoming a millionaire to losing weight or learning how to sail all do their best to convey this simple truth: Attitude really is everything.

When catastrophic things happen, it's human to ask "Why?" But the reality is that most of the time, the WHY only leads to negative feelings - guilt, regret, anger or worst. The key here is not to dwell on the Why but to Focus on the What Now?

And in that moment - every one of us always has at least two choices:

   1. Absorb it, learn from it what you can and move forward.

 OR

   2. Give up, walk away and move on to something or someone else.

The real question is - What will you do?

Now all of us choose Option 2 from time to time. We get frustrated, question ourselves, question God, the universe, our leaders, our partners, our parents, kids, coworkers or friends. If you're currently in Option 2 land -- don't worry. You actually don't have to stay there! The fantastic thing about Being Human is that you can actually change your mind this very second.

If you're in a space where this is you: there's a couple tiny things that can get in your way from reversing course and moving forward: Stubbornness. Pride. and Fear. Yes, our dark side theme rears its ugly head yet again. Here too we can all find comfort. Cliché alert: Misery does love company, right?

Thing is - what does that really serve? Does it help you at all? nope. Does it help your circumstances? probably not. Does it bring you any closer to your dream?  No, most likely the opposite will be true and it will push what you want further away.  So then does it make you feel any better? well, it might for a time -- for those of us with anger issues, I highly recommend boxing! (even if it's on your Wii)... darts are popular too!

In the end though, don't we all want to just be happy? Wayyyyy deep down there somewhere - the answer is "yea." So what's the message here?

Setbacks are inevitable... learn to bounce back faster by allowing yourself to recognize what you may need to learn and then focus forward. Figure out what will get you back on your Path to your Vision / Dream and put your energy into that.

(... and if that doesn't work for you, I HIGHLY recommend doing some volunteer work! The fastest way to see how blessed you really are is to spend some time with others less fortunate than you).

And one final thought:

Sometimes, the universe just needs to know you're serious about your dream or vision!  So remember, without the setbacks - it's easy to lose sight of how precious your dreams or your loves are if they were easily gotten. You're less likely to forget that truth if you had to truly work through some difficult times to find or reclaim your perfect world.

     THINK.       WRITE.       BELIEVE.       ACT.