Our Better Angels

Writing is one of my favorite things to do (in case you couldn't tell).  It's my primary mechanism of expression and clearing for the clutter that generally lurks in my mind.  Today is my birthday, so I hope you'll indulge me a little, because this is what's in my head:

This past week has been a week of tragedy and triumph with bombings in Boston at the beloved Marathon and an explosion of a plant in West, Texas... and finally, this weekend is EARTH DAY.

I witnessed a car accident this week while driving to dinner... and while the driver that ran a red light that caused the accident stopped, he then sped away.  Who knows why?  Fortunately I was right behind him and got the make/model of his car, his license plate, and a good description of him because before he left, he got out to survey the damage to his vehicle - never mind that he hit a truck that then flipped twice in an intersection.

Still despite these individual acts of fear or hatred or whatever evil intent, there were COUNTLESS acts of LOVE, Courage, Heroism, Selflessness, Compassion and so many more words that can be used to describe what is best about being human:

...witnesses (ordinary people) as well as first responders and medical professionals rushing TOWARD the fire to aid the injured in Boston.
...citizens abiding by the law, trusting in law enforcement, notifying them of any/all information that eventually resulted in the capture of suspects.
...more than 15 people at a crash site who pulled over, jumped from their cars to aid a man who had just been hit at an intersection and his truck flipped twice.

While a single, individual act caused harm - that same negative was met and overwhelmingly overtaken by multiple acts of LOVE.  For me, it was those acts of the human spirit, those selfless collective responses and the outpouring of love and our need to HELP - however we could, whether it was simply sending thoughts and prayers or something more - that made me cry this week.  It's usually those stories that bring tears to my eyes.  More so even than my emotions from loss...

and for that, I am grateful.

I'll never understand evil motivation, it confounds my mind whenever I attempt to make sense of senseless things.  But rather than dwell there for long, thankfully I am blessed to be able to shift into another gear that allows me to focus forward.

We all have our opinions.  God knows.

There's ANY number of issues being debated on any given day.  I work in behavioral health so I pay close attention to things like health care reform, questions regarding mental illness, bullying behaviors in children and adults.  I'm a Christian so I listen to the opinions of so many who wax poetic on 'issues' they deem to be moral imperatives.  I'm from West Virginia so of course, I notice any and all things from my beloved state.  I'm a dog lover, motorcycle rider, gun owner, historian, sports lover, outdoor enthusiast, and a blogger.  I'm a neat freak, lover of art and philosophy, of Italian-Irish, etc. decent who loves family,  "good" food and small towns.  I love people though they sometimes irritate me!  I'm an American.

That's who I am.

My beliefs are relatively simple too.  I believe in God wholly and completely.  I do not believe I know or can comprehend all that He is or does... therefore I do not presume that I do or could.  I believe in the power of forgiveness and Love, always Love.  I believe in family - and that includes those who may not share my same heritage or bloodlines.  I believe in democracy, freedom, and the United States government which means I believe in service also.

Now why say all that?

I say it because I am absolutely certain that no matter who you are, there are any number of things that we will have in common AND any number of things we would likely fundamentally disagree on with our last breaths.  My challenge to you and myself is that when judging, we both listen to our better angels and ACT from Love rather than any number of negative feelings or viewpoints.

I have been blessed to be on this good Earth now for 44 years today.  I've traveled abroad and in our country.  I've lived in many states - both big and small cities - in apartments, townhouses, and single family homes.  I have had my share of illness and tragedy and suffered loss as well as joys... and in all my collective wisdom and experience, the basics of the two greatest commandments still hold universal truth for me:

1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, with all your mind; and
2. Love your neighbor as yourself.

Both begin with the LOVE.  If we operate first from love - not fear, not distrust, not separation, not hatred - then we have a chance at understanding, forgiveness, and peace.  If we each judged, when we judge, out of the principles of love FIRST, rather than ego or some other selfish viewpoint then our commonalities can help move us past our differences.

Life is full of contradictions, challenges, tragedies and triumphs.  I'm not asking for world peace (yet)... but I am asking for you (and me) - one person at a time - to challenge yourself to operate within your world from a place of love first because I DO believe Love Never Fails.  And with that, I believe love will open your mind and heart to incredible possibility and blessing in this life.

Thanks for listening.

Now it's time for me to get myself together so I can celebrate my birthday at an amusement park!

Happy Earth Day!

Time to Renew

I do love Easter Sunday... it represents everything good.  It's about REBIRTH and RENEWAL in the most basic sense and yet it's so much more.  For the spiritual or religious, it is the celebration of all we believe and hold to be true.  For others, it still means much the same - rebirth.

What is it about renewal and rebirth that is so essentially human?

We crave it.

We all long for some way to begin again.  Some way to revive, renew, resurrect.  It may be a hope to fall in love again with a spouse; to start life over with a career or purposeful work vs. a current job; or simply finding a lost love like playing the guitar, rebuilding an engine, planting a garden, sailing a boat...or it may be as simple as choosing to eat healthier and exercise.  We look forward to retirement so we can do just that!  ;)

The wonderfully beautiful thing about being human is that we actually possess the capacity to accomplish this.  We CAN choose to begin again.  To shed the old and find renewal and rebirth.  In the process, we experience freedom, joy, forgiveness, peace and so much more.

The good news is that we don't have to wait for retirement or an annual Easter celebration to ignite this process.  But since it IS Easter, why not start now?

What is it that needs to renewed in your life? or is it simply that YOU need to be renewed and reborn?

Take a few moments today to THINK about that question and then WRITE down what you want to renew.  Choose your words.  Just start there...

It's time to renew.

THINK.     WRITE.    BELIEVE.     ACT.

Dolce Far Niente

I'm Italian and Irish... but I was mostly raised by the Italian side of my family... and I had the opportunity to go to Italy a few years ago visiting Rome, Florence, Tuscany, Venice, Naples, and the Isle of Capri.  While there I was reminded of something my Gram used to say to me whenever I'd ask her what she was doing?  Typically she'd be sitting on her porch when this conversation would occur... but in short, she'd grin and say "Nothing."

Now this wasn't the 'nothing' in the general teenage angst sense, nor a sarcastic retort.  NO, this was simply the truth.

After she'd done whatever chore she'd deemed necessary that day, she'd go out and sit on the porch (in warmer weather) or the basement couch (in winter) with a beverage, some bread, cheese, salami or pepperoni, etc. and just SIT.

The last few weeks, as I've been getting over my Texas allergies (yes, we have them in winter not spring), I've been rediscovering myself.  Of course there's nothing like a trip to where you grew up to bring back into focus the Real You... who you are at your core.  Anyway, in this continual journey of self discovery, I've begun 'centering' again asking:  'What do you want?'  'Are you happy? and if not, why not?' 'What makes you smile? feel accomplished or whole?' and then I came to realization that over the last several years, I've nearly forgotten how to RELAX.  I get glimpses of this state of being known as 'peace' or 'relaxation' but overall, on a regular basis, it eludes me.

I am a Type A personality.  Always seeing what else "needs to be done" and classically "never satisfied with the present."  

I'm a visionary.  A dreamer.  Yet, I also have the ability, talent, skill or gift needed to make most dreams or lofty goal a reality when I set my mind to it.

Venice Square

While that's a wonderful quality for most things in life, it is also the very thing that sets me in constant conflict with "the art of doing nothing = DOLCE FAR NIENTE"

Capri

What is 'dolce far niente?' It's an Italian phrase literally translated as "sweet doing nothing" but also means "pleasant relaxation in carefree idleness."  WOW.  Look at each word in that phrase and do your best to absorb the delicious meaning of it all...

PLEASANT

RELAXATION

IN

CAREFREE

IDLENESS

Seriously?  Is that even possible????  

Not just 'relaxation' but 'PLEASANT relaxation.'

"IN" not 'of' or 'for' or 'about' but "in" as in immersed, subsumed, whole...

"CAREFREE" = without care, worry, concern...

"IDLENESS" = Stillness.

One of my favorite quotable bible verses is "BE STILL (and know that I am God)" Psalm 46:10.  Oh how I struggle to "be still," to "wait on the Lord."  Many times I seem utterly incapable of 'stillness.'  Eastern religion, the practice of yoga, and so many other things from spirituality to psychology all have elements designed to tame the human mind because we equate STILLNESS with PEACE.

Stillness for me is not 'emptiness' but rather calmness and quiet.  And it most definitely requires PRACTICE because I'm always, always, always "doing" something.

hmmmmmmmm...

Once again, I'm realizing how very RIGHT my grandparents are.  There is a beauty in the simplicity of being verses doing.  There is something essential about taking time to be still.  There is something necessary and healthy and human that requires us to relax.

In this case, I fully believe the Italians have the right frame of mind:  DOLCE FAR NIENTE, everyone!

On this Sunday - the biblical 'day of rest' - put aside your 'need' to 'do' anything today and instead seize the opportunity to do NOTHING!

I am.

It's time.

THINK/FEEL.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

The Simpler Things

Last weekend I flew to my hometown, Clarksburg WV to visit my family and spend time with my grandfather.  The family decided to throw Pap a surprise birthday party in our church gym for his 90th birthday.  Incredibly, close to 150 family members and close friends came to celebrate him!

Pap with his kids

He walked in thinking he was attending a political fundraiser only to be met by The Godfather theme song and a cheer of "SURPRISE!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"  He quickly recovered and proceeded to delight everyone with his usual humor.  My dad toasted him, our priest blessed him, children flocked to him, and everyone kissed and hugged him.  My uncle made the BEST homemade peppers and sausage in true Italian style.  My aunt and cousins who coordinated things kept things moving along... and my youngest cousin was delighted to finally get her wedding dance with Pap who was too sick to dance at her wedding this summer.

It was a beautiful celebration of life and love.

Pap with his sisters

Now I don't know about you, but I don't know of too many 90 year olds whose birthday would bring so many people together just for the chance to celebrate HIM.  He never ran for office.  He held simple jobs as a grocery clerk and car salesman for a time.  He's a devout Catholic and equally devout Democrat but was a private person overall.  He had a small garden.  So what was it about this now frail old man that would engender so much love and respect?

His heart.

Pap has ALWAYS loved loved loved children... and they've always flocked to him.  Pap adored his wife and still loves her fully though she left us five years ago.  And Pap loves to LAUGH and make everyone around him laugh!  He jokes and tells stories that make you laugh till your sides hurt.  Despite his Italian temper and stubborn streak, he can just as quickly shift into a joke with an infectious grin.

When my grandmother was sick, Pap would take a fresh loaf of Italian bread from our local bakery and a jar of his canned peppers to every doctor, nurse, aid worker in thanks for their taking such care of his beloved.  Anyone who has ever shown him a kindness - from bank tellers to handymen, from sick friends to teachers/coaches of his grandkids - got a jar of those peppers and some bread.  It wasn't payment, it was a gesture of love... followed by some sort of joke and a laugh.  He loved and appreciated people.  It was that simple.  His only request from everyone was that they return his jars to him.

He and my grandmother lived in the house he and his friends built.  She told him what she wanted and he figured out how to build it for her using nothing but the best materials.  It wasn't built quickly.  It took him months and months to gather the money and resources but it was built perfectly.  Every decision from the type of lumber to the small enclave for the Blessed Virgin's statue, the use of plaster for the walls and lights in finished closets were all detailed loving touches designed for her.  He and she LOVED their home.  It wasn't thousands of square feet but was just what they needed.  Nothing more.

Our family loved their home too.  It was a place of love, laughter, and great food!  Amazing memories.

I adore my grandparents.  There is nothing I wouldn't do for them.  It's an overflowing cup... so as I think on my own life, I am reminded of what truly matters:

It really IS the SIMPLER THINGS in life that make it sweet, joyful, fulfilling.  

My grandparents knew how to LOVE.  They spent their time not working incessantly, nor acquiring more things but rather just living and doing what they enjoyed!

My grandmother actually loved to cook and bake.  She smiled as she cleaned every inch of her home each spring and fall because it was HERS.  She lovingly washed clothes and hung them out on the clothes line to catch the breeze and then ironed anything that needed it because to her, each thing she did was an expression of love not a chore.

Together, despite loss and hardships at times, she and Pap found ways to still laugh at and with each other most every day.  They went to church every Saturday night and had Sunday spaghetti dinner ready for the family every weekend.  We didn't watch much TV with them.  We sat and talked either in the kitchen or on the porch.

Simple.

The older I get, the more I realize how RIGHT and PERFECT they were... and I'm taking a lesson from them.  It's the people - family and friends - in our lives that matter.  It's the memories we create with them, whether it's learning to play golf at age six with Pap or making bread and fritis with Gram in the basement or any number of a thousand other things that matter.  WHY?  Because it's the quality TIME we spend together, share together that means everything.

It's so easy to get distracted by the "To Do's" and the desire to acquire.  But just for today, right now, take a few moments to breathe in your life - smell your child's hair, make cookies with your spouse, or call your parents just to tell them 'hi' and see how their day went?  Make plans to meet your best friend for lunch at his/her home or invite them to yours.

DECIDE to prioritize the SIMPLER Things in your life... I bet your stress goes down, you sleep better, and you'll smile more.

THINK/FEEL.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

Wake Up Call

I welcomed 2013 with high expectations and a horrible cold and allergies that's lasted more than a month.  There's nothing quite like a dose of the slow dripping allergic equivalent of Chinese water torture followed by a single 9 hour night's sleep (finally) to bring life's reality into harsh perspective.

It's amazing the level of clarity you can get after having been sleep deprived for so long and then suddenly, blissfully the herbs and remedies kick in allowing sleep and recovery.

Today is that day.

I've awakened to a new reality and an awareness of how much I've drifted from my 'self.'  Despite having suffered some significant illnesses, loss of loved ones, and other heartbreak over the course of my life, I had always managed to bounce back and reclaim my heart which has been my guide.  But surprisingly the last almost two years has challenged me on many levels.

In my quest to get varying aspects of my personal and professional life on track with my Vision for them, I realize I willingly sacrificed my health and a part of my heart's healing.  I pushed my body well past its limits and forsaken much needed personal time for emotional healing all together.  I lost my self in my work mission.

So what's wrong with that?  Well, it's fine provided that it's an active verses a passive choice.

The truth is that while I recognized some aspects of this, I didn't fully comprehend that my actions were in fact CHOICES.

• I allowed my work travel schedule to require weekly trips to multiple locations.
• I allowed that same schedule to be so packed there was no room for things like meals or bathroom breaks.
• I allowed other's needs to supersede my own... AND
• I allowed my own voice to be silenced in nearly all my relationships -- self sacrificing ME in an effort to absorb others pain simply because I had the capacity and depth of love to do so.

All of which was unnecessary and a subtle yet damaging EGO trap.

Today, I've realized with absolute clarity the cost of those choices.  My wake-up call has been failing health.

What will it take for you?  What's your wake up call?

How many times in your day or week do you think you need to 'compromise?'
What are the words you repeat and allow that take you down a negative path?

Why is it that we teach ourselves to believe that we need to 'sacrifice?'

What is sacrifice?
Sacrifice has a negative connotation that often invokes a feeling of loss.  So are we truly called to 'sacrifice?'  I actually don't think so...

I believe we all need a mental reframing.
Is it really a sacrifice to exercise? to eat healthy, organic foods? to make time for our families or friends? to choose fruit vs. cheesecake?  :)  Are we really giving up anything??

We all make choices all day, every day.  What would happen if we saw our choices as gaining something verses losing something else?  What IF we choose to prioritize loving activities over "have to's"?

Is there a way to balance things that need to get done with things that make life joyful?

Yea, I think so... it's simply going to require a mental workout daily to ensure I'm choosing based on the guidance of my heart verses the chatter of my mind.

It's time to be AWARE.

(Note: I recommend watching this video on 'Introduction to Awareness' for a more in depth understanding of real awareness.  Thank you Mary!)

Time to recognize the chatter, those ego driven voices of "Should" and "Have to" and to see them again for what they are. I'm choosing today to get out of my mind and into my heart.  Where is my heart leading me today?

Hmm - off this computer and outside!!  =>

:) hope you'll ask yourself the same question and then act accordingly.

Redefining Love, part 2

No matter how hard we try, we cannot escape pain or suffering in our lives.  We also cannot escape the Truth.  One way or another, the Truth really does make you free...

I believe the key to reducing pain and suffering requires us all to recognize LOVE's power while understanding our own individual limitations and our own truth.  When we do, we begin to see that as our spirit, soul, and body aligns with our true heart's desires (vision), we unleash a power that redefines and transforms everything in it's path.

Where we can get off track is when we expect others to align with us.  Magic occurs when they do and suffering can occur when they don't.

So how do we stay on our Path?

How do we recognize the difference between life's challenges that try to take us off our Path where we learn and can overcome vs. real roadblocks designed to redirect us when we are actually off our Path?

Hmmmm.

The Truth is that only YOU will know the difference... because you are the only one who really knows your truth.

I believe God and the universe conspire to both challenge and teach us in an effort to shape our conviction (belief) and will.  Our ability to recognize and respond to these challenges refine us.  If we see these events through you're entire life's Perspective lens, we are often shown a very different Truth (in hindsight) that when accepted simply will Redefine Love.


Exhale.
Yea.................. ;)

This is what I've learned in 2012 (and yes, it is supposed to make you THINK).

My hope is that we all learn what we need so we will suffer less in 2013.

FEEL.    Write.     Believe.     Act.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

I hope you and your family and friends have a wonderfully healthy and happy Holiday Season!