Welcome to Write Your Vision!

Deep down, most people have dreams - they may be forgotten, unspoken, or unrealized - but they are there. I want to help you remember and believe in them again...

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Timing, Part 3: There is only NOW

We all think about both our past and our future.  Most of us are not content with some aspect of our lives that makes us long for the past or dream about a better tomorrow.  It's human nature.  It's also in our nature to be looking for love, satisfaction, and some semblance of understanding about who we are and why we are here...

I've found that if we are struggling with the latter two things, nearly everything about life can feel uncertain.

For whatever reason I've been graced with a measure of certainty throughout my life.  I've generally known who I am and for the most part why I'm here and what I'm meant to do.  Doesn't mean I've always done it nor have I routinely made good choices, but when I do make those choices I do it with certainty.

I've thought about this more and more lately... as I've questioned life's "Timing" and it's randomness.  I've wondered how anyone - including me - could be certain about anything?  Isn't life all about the grey?  So in my usual mind-numbing fashion I started to deconstruct my own sense of "certainty" to see what exactly I'm so sure about.

What I realized is that I inherently do recognize that there is only NOW.

Today - this moment - is what you and I have... and I believe that life is about making the MOST of those moments.  There's a great scene/line in the movie, "When Harry Met Sally" at the end when Harry finally realizes that he's loved Sally all along.  He is walking and begins remembering so we see a sequence of 'memories' with Sally.  As he's remembering, he begins walking faster until he's finally RUNNING to find her.  His legs can't get him to her fast enough.  He arrives out of breath, their eyes meet, and after exchanging a few other words, it comes to this:

   Harry Burns:     I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you. 
   Sally Albright:  What? 
   Harry Burns:     I love you. 
   Sally Albright:  How do you expect me to respond to this? 
   Harry Burns:    How about, you love me too. 
   Sally Albright:  How about, I'm leaving. 

Harry Burns: I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. 


The reason I suggest "Writing Your Vision" is to help us all get to our own realization about our lives.  All the cliches apply... and they apply for a reason because there are nuggets of truth in them all.

Life is short.  We only have NOW.  

So are you living the life that you want and need?  Do you have the job, the spouse, the home or family that you KNOW you are meant to have?

If the answer is "No" - forget the reasons why not and start making the decisions to make your dreams a reality.  You are the only one standing in your way.  Timing is more of an excuse than an actual factor... because there's never going to be a good time for real change.

The thing that I've learned is that when you make your decisions based on what you KNOW to be true and you resist the fear and resist the worry about the circumstances, you stop living a lie.  It grants you the grace of certainty.  The verse (John 8:32) says "The Truth Will Make You Free" and that is absolutely right.  Never be afraid of the Truth.  God will take care of the details when you operate in Truth, making decisions beginning with the real Truth.  You just have to step into the water...then watch your own Red Sea of Challenge part.

The truth about timing is that There Is Only Now... so what are you waiting for?

The Truth will Make you FREE, always in all ways.
Trust in your dream.
Choose to live your vision...


Sunday, February 5, 2012

Timing, Part 2: The Impact of Choice on Timing

If God's timing is perfect, how is it that timing in our lives can be "off?"  
Short answer:  1) Because we muck it up; 2) Because others muck it up; 3) Miscellaneous crap.  :)

Very simply though - we all make choices.

We make choices every moment of every day.  And we are at the will of other's choices every moment of every day.  In the middle of this, we all spend our time trying to influence the choice of others to align with our own.  Stress and conflict, etc. come in when there is a difference of opinion about the present moment or a pending moment.  To make our points, we draw from the past because we can't predict our future.  Makes sense, right?  Almost.

I think the key distinction to remember is that the past does not dictate nor truly influence the future...unless we choose to let it.  It is simply lessons learned.  It cannot be changed.  It must however be used to improve us all.

The goal of life is to learn, to grow, to become all that we are meant to become.  We pray we do not make the journey alone and preferably make it with the love of our lives.  We strive to complete our mission on this earth as well - doing that we we are each meant to "do."  

Okay, so how to achieve that goal?

The Past
I will say that if we do not learn from our past, we are doomed to repeat it because I do believe God has a sense of humor and history.  He is most interested in us 'becoming" so if we don't get it right the first time, He's going to keep bringing back the same thing over and over again until we learn and do what He wants.  My philosophy now is to try to figure out what exactly this is so I stop making the same mistakes and can move forward because at this point in my life I have learned that I may as well get on board because one way or another He's gonna win.  So the sooner I make the choices He wants, the better my life gets.  The longer I delay, the more stressful my life can become and the louder that internal nagging becomes.

Personally, I'm glad I'm not the person I was years ago or yesterday.  Years ago I was someone who was much more selfish.  I made several decisions out of fear and misplaced priorities.  I thought work was the primary dictator.  If my boss said I had to do something - even if it hurt my personal life or family - I did it. I thought I HAD to because I couldn't lose my job?  I mean, God forbid.  I tried to do everything perfectly - thinking that was even possible - because I didn't want to be criticized or rejected.

What I didn't understand was that I WAS MAKING CHOICES.  No one was holding a gun to my head telling me to work nights and weekends.  I thought someone was metaphorically.  But instead of realizing I could set boundaries, say "no" and if all else failed, I COULD get another job, I sacrificed myself and what I loved to try to be what I thought I was supposed to be and do what I was supposed to do.

I thought I "HAD TO..."

Fear drove those decisions.  Not faith.  Not love.  Not even service or an attempt at a greater good/mission.

I took love for granted... thinking I had "time."  My mantra began with "Why can't we/you wait?  I need more time... or You've just gotta give me a little more time..." and "As soon as..." 

I figured I couldn't control work so my personal life had to WAIT.  I didn't have TIME.

Sound familiar?

I think we all forget that we all actually are on a 'dead'line.  We are here for a limited time that only God knows for how long exactly.  So we are lulled into believing "we have time."  This often prevents us from making the choices we know we need to make.

The lesson?  You cannot remake the past.  You can only move forward and live better in the present.  Let your past go but learn from it.  Don't let it prevent you from moving forward.

The Present
How do you live in the present?  You begin by recognizing that YOU are the one making choices now.  It's not about your past choices nor the past choices of someone else, anyone else.  It's about YOU.

You decide.

How do you decide?
1.  Choose based on love.  2.  Choose based on what you believe you are meant to do... not necessarily by what's practical.  3.  Choose.

How is timing impacted by choice?  
If you don't choose, that is a choice.  If you choose out of fear (fear of losing what you have; fear of ANY kind) then you will likely miss the blessing you are meant to have.

Once you decide based on love and your mission/vision, the rest will fall into place.  Align yourself and you'll find the timing becomes perfect.  AND you'll have what you need to move forward.

The Choices of Others
If you are doing all you know to do - you are fighting for your love, you are trying to live your best life every day, and still your dreams are out of reach because you are waiting on ______________ (fill in your own blank), then is it really a question of "timing?"

I don't think so.

We all have free will.  We each are called to choose.  If the person you love - you truly love - is unsure for whatever reason then it's up to you to fight for them, whether that means: waiting, being present, or talking through it with them, then that is what you do.  Don't allow your pride or ego to prevent you from believing and humbly loving.

If that person chooses someone else, then know you will be given the strength to survive it... and you will be rewarded with a greater love.  You will move on.  

If that person knows that s/he is meant to be with you and s/he chooses differently out of fear or some sense of practicality or any other number of excuses - other than love - then at some point they will realize their mistake and will almost assuredly regret their decision.  They will never truly move on because that choice will forever be in their mind as a reminder and a lesson for their own growth.  They may someday teach their child what it means to make a decision based on love because they didn't have the strength to do it themselves.  You may never know but you can trust that with choice comes consequence.

If that person does choose someone else because they love them more, then you were never meant to be together.  There was some other reason for your time together.  Again, you will be given the strength to move on.

The only thing you can do is be true to yourself, do everything you can do, and then TRUST.  Always trust.  Regardless of circumstances, trust.  Believe.  Know that you have done your part.  Know.

The choices of others is also NOT about timing.  It's simply about choice.

The same rules apply with a job or any other type of decision.  IF you are doing all you can and being the best person you can be and things continue to not go in a way that want or need, take heart in the little victories and look beyond your circumstances to see WHY you are there.  It may not be for the reasons you think.  So again, decide.  Choose whether to stay or go elsewhere.

All you can do is what YOU can do.  You cannot control the actions of others.   The actions of others is not a matter of timing.

So is there an impact of choice on timing?  Yes and No.  Your ability to move forward is determined by the choices you make.  Therefore your timing is based on your choices - not on the actions of others.  Choose for YOU.