Handling Heartbreak

Lately it would seem that there are any number of things pushing people to the edge.  We are all being challenged on so many fronts, it's often overwhelming.  It is especially difficult when someone or something that you love lets you down or does something that hurts you.

When you feel broken, so many things that may otherwise not affect you suddenly feel painful or personal. 

Thing is - others will almost always fail you at one point or another,  in some way or other; just as you will fail someone else someday even when you don't intend it.  So we all have to deal with hurt in our lives.

One of the many blessings (or curses - depending how you look at it) that we have is that we can neither pat ourselves on the back nor kick our own butt... so what do you do to handle heartbreak when it happens to you?

I honestly believe that as human beings, part of living simply involves hurting.  If you think back on your life, generally speaking, some of the greatest lessons you'll learn come from painful situations.   Why is that?  Hmmmm.  Well, that can be debated any number of ways but what do you do with all those emotions - especially the hurt?

The first thing I think is simply acknowledging the hurt.  There's no point in denying how you feel.  It doesn't help.  The next thing is to ask myself what in the world am I supposed to learn from this and THEN decide what's next?  Would it help you or the situation to tell the other person they've hurt you?  If you can honestly answer yes to either/both of those questions, then go for it.  If not - as is sometimes the case - how do you release your hurt?

For me, it often starts with breathing in and out... and eventually involves some kind of writing:  Writing TO or ABOUT the person(s) or situations that hurt me - even if I never send it to another soul to read.  I still write.  I write to release...

Boxing or some sort of exercise is good too when you need a physical outlet as well!

Regardless, I've found that I have to purge that negativity SOMEhow; and more often than not, I need to do it more than once.  I think the frequency is directly proportional to the depth of pain you feel... even when you're hurt so deep that you don't seem to feel anymore.

And when you're in that place, ask for the strength to simply look up from where you are.  You WILL begin to see there are things in your life worth living for... worth more than the pain of the present.  At that point, you have the power to CHOOSE - so choose wisely.    Choose to remember who YOU are... and if you hadn't done so previously, WRITE who you want to be.  Write Your Vision for yourself, for your life!

In the end, there is only ONE 'you.'  You are greater than the hurt... and you are valued more than you realize - more than those thoughts in your head care to acknowledge.

You can handle the heartbreak, even when it brings you to your knees.  You can rise up again and smile again.  It's okay to acknowledge where you are, how hurt you are; but seek the strength not to stay there: focus differently!  You'll find you may never get over the pain but you will get through it.

If you haven't tried writing, I encourage you to give it a shot.  It's free and requires no skill whatsoever.  Start simply by putting what you feel on paper one word at a time:  Hurt.  Angry.  Lost.  And then, allow yourself to write just one thing you are thankful for... Think about that ONE thing.  Write it down.  How does that thing make you feel?  Write that down.

Just start there... and then let me know what you came up with and if it helped?

       THINK.       WRITE.       BELIEVE.       ACT.