The Art of Spring Cleaning

April is always an emotional rollercoaster month for me of joy mixed with tears. 

I LOVE it because my birthday is this month and I believe in celebrating it as it is the ONE day of the year that is MINE.  With that also comes Easter, spring flowers and showers, beautiful green grass, the need to start planting and clearing out the weeds in the yard, laying new soil or mulch, etc. etc.  All Good.

April is also my grandmother's month.  Her birthday is a few days after mine so she and I would always celebrate together... and I loved that because I adored her.  It made us special.  Despite her being gone now (thus the tears), the depth of my love for her and her impact on my life is still amazing to me.  She was/is my person.  My "Go-To" and my heart.  And SPRING was her favorite time of year!  This was when she'd launch into SPRING CLEANING...

Gram LOVED to clean her house in the Spring.  Pretty much anytime really but especially this time of year.  She couldn't wait to open the windows and clean those sills and the windows themselves with soap and water until they sparkled.  Then she'd have Pap wash down the screens that had been in storage and hang them.  But the work didn't stop there.  No, that was just the beginning. 

Gram and Pap would LITERALLY start cleaning their home from top to bottom, inside then out.  Gram would "start high" because the dust would drop down.  She'd climb up on chairs and take apart the ceiling fans and light fixtures washing each piece in the sink.  All curtains and lamp shades would come down for their cleaning.  She'd assign Pap the wall washing and baseboard cleaning... and if he missed anything - NO supper!  That was her grinning threat.  He'd look hurt but then would grin right back at her with an "Okay sweetie, I'll do it good."

They'd tackle the vents and ductwork blowing them out and washing the vents in the sink also.  All bedding would come off and head for washing machine.  That meant the pillows too.  Pap would lift up the mattress and Gram would vacuum and clean the box springs and bed frames.  She'd also vacuum under the bed and he'd be responsible for the walls and baseboards around and behind the beds.  Once that was in process, they'd pull EVERYTHING out of the closets.  All clothes, shoes, etc. until it was empty.  Gram would start sorting and Pap would clean the closets themselves.  The clothing would be placed in piles - some going to the needy, some to storage, and ALL going into the wash.  This was the time of year when Gram wouldn't use the dryer.  Nope.  EVERYTHING would go from the wash to the clothing lines in the yard... "so they would smell good!"  And they did.

After each bedroom was complete, they'd hit the hallway and bathrooms then the living room.  The cushions on the couches would be beaten outside and set out for a few hours to take in the sun and breeze.  Now they'd tackle the kitchen.  First the stove and refridgerator had to be pulled out so the floors could be cleaned along with the outside of both appliances.  Next Pap would set to work taking the stove apart and cleaning it while Gram would clean her fridge.  Once complete, they'd begin with all the kitchen cabinets.  Pap would wash them down with Murphy's Oil Soap and water while Gram would empty them.  Pap would wash the inside and Gram would lay down a new liner and then replace the contents.  If anything looked dusty or sticky, it too would go into the sink for a bath before going into the cabinet.  Then when they'd literally gone through everything, Gram would clean her floor.

Once the upstairs was done, they'd start the trek downstairs into the live in basement where they did their cooking and canning.  Same process.  And of course, once the inside was done then they'd work outside.  Pap would wash down the siding of their home and paint the window sills, etc. while Gram started ironing.  She'd have an enormous basket by now!  She'd hang her curtains while they were still a little damp - that was a secret!  She didn't have to iron them if she did that!  But she'd iron the sheets and pillow cases, all those clothes before going back into the closets and drawers, etc.  Even the things going to the church for the poor... all would be pressed and ready.

Of course this was a several day process but when they were done, that little West Virginia house would SPARKLE.  It was a true labor of love.

Every nook and cranny.  Every light switch and fixture.  Every appliance.  Every article of clothing and pair of shoes.  Every tool - including the lawn mower would get a bath and a tune up.

And they would NEVER complain or grumble.  They LOVED doing it.  They loved doing it together.  They were a team and they enjoyed every minute of it.

They built their home brick by brick.  Gram designed it - where she wanted each room and how she wanted it laid out - and Pap built it with his friends and family.  They took pride in their home and with their belongings.  They were HAPPY... always.  They truly made Spring Cleaning into an art form that is now a memory I cherish and a reminder to not take even the smallest thing for granted.  Nothing escaped their loving touch and polish.

They had a vision for their lives and they made their dream come true.  And from the beginning, they cherished their dream, cherished what they had.  They recognized their blessings.

I used to ask Gram and Pap around their birthdays if they wanted anything?  What could I get them as a gift?

Pap would wink and say "I have everything right here.  I have my sweetie, a roof over my head, and food on the table."  Gram would squeeze my hand and generally say "I have what I want" as she'd start fixing me something to eat. 

And they did.

As we all work to achieve it's good I think to separate and distinguish between "things we may want" and our DREAM: with our calling or our VISION for our lives and "things we don't have."  There's a difference between acquiring more stuff and what we need in our lives to be happy and whole.  When you consider your vision for yourself, I'd encourage you to look around at what you may already have... you might be surprised to find that you already have what you need.  It may simply need a little loving polish and some spring cleaning.

I'm starting today.  One room at a time.  ;)

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

A Horse Named Butch

Since my last post, there's been a LOT going on... seems like a roller coaster of emotions, would-be signs, and new or renewed decisions.  A veritable lifetime in only a few short days.

My question today is "What scares you the most?"  What's the ONE thing that you simply cannot bear to consider, to hear, or even allow the fleeting thought to zip past you mind because even the hint of it brings you to your knees?  Do you have that thought or concept now?

Okay, so what if the thing you feared most introduced itself to you?  What would you do?  How would you react?  Need some hints?

• Loss of your job
• Death of a spouse
• Your love leaving you
• A sick child

Loss or Potential Loss.  Loss of some kind in some form that causes heartbreak - causes the tightening in your chest or throat - and then the tears flow.  Sobbing. At times even the POTENTIAL of such a loss can stop us cold.  The potential can become so overwhelming, it can consume you for a minute, an hour, a day, week or longer...

The possibility of losing what you love most can change your world in an instant.  Suddenly that project for work isn't so important nor is cleaning the porch or any number of the other chores or momentary TO-DOs.  In those moments, nothing else matters.

When faced with that pain - that heartbreak - you re-prioritize.  Your body can only absorb so much before it shuts down, nightmares can plague your sleep; but the thing about that type of pain is that it doesn't actually kill you.  It just makes you wish it would.

Ever experience that?  Ever come close?  if yes, then you KNOW... if not, consider yourself blessed and cherish each moment.

Thing is that in those moments or during those times we question.  You may question yourself, question God, the universe, dreams, faith, all the POSITIVE things in life that you BELIEVE.  Why? Because we all try to make sense from the circumstances confronting us that make no sense.  In our effort to understand and cope, we question... we wonder.  Those foundational belief questions may last a few seconds or longer.

For me, when faced with that level of fear despite my faith, I still question.  I still may wonder... but then I rebalance.  It doesn't lessen the pain per se but it is how my mind works to protect my heart.  But even then, when the questions start, I redirect those questions based on what I believe either intentionally or subconsciously.  And then, somehow God answers... always.

In this case, I met an amazing Pima Indian woman who spoke to me.  When I least expected grace, I received a message.  A confirmation.  Kindness.  A direct response.  An answer that spoke to my soul and released the wellspring of sorrow that I'd been unconsciously working to control.  The truth made me free... reminding me of MY DREAMS.  It was one of the most humbling moments of my life.  I still have not fully processed it all.

This incredibly was followed by a day of affirmations where people I either didn't know or barely knew spoke positive things to me from telling me how talented I was, how beautiful I was, that I was where I needed to be, doing what I was meant to be doing, and much more.  I was reunited with an old friend and met several new ones who made me laugh and coincidentally reminded me of ME... who I am, what I love, what I believe.  I felt my soul coming back.

And finally - if all that wasn't enough the next day was a day of FUN!  A day to RELEASE all the tension, to release the mental gymnastics, to truly BE IN THE MOMENT! 

It was a day where I was reminded that life was meant to be LIVED!  

I had an opportunity to almost be a kid again!  I was surrounded by the surreal beauty of the Arizona desert with cacti and red rocks and the sounds of water: images so breath-taking in their diversity, contradictions, and color that the spirituality of the place was heightened.  In the midst of this natural spectacle I had decided to go horseback riding as part of a group activity.  It felt right.  I had been looking forward to this from the beginning when I learned I'd be in this place.  It was nearly time.  I was so excited...

 

As our group gathered and our guide talked, I saw one of the most beautiful horses.  He was a Mustang - brown and white - gorgeous.  Proud.  He was the first to choose a rider.  Again by grace this majestic horse with more than a little attitude would be the one who chose me.  His name was Butch.  Sitting atop this incredible animal as we trotted through the desert was so joyful, so exhilarating, so humbling, and so spiritual that I got lost in the moment by moments taking it all in - from seeing a desert owl digging to jack rabbits and the amazing landscape.  More than anything I was PRESENT... and I was HAPPY.  Truly, deeply, overwhelmingly happy...

Butch knew what I needed: he challenged me, had to be in the lead but not too far ahead of his pack, and preferred to be off the 'trail' making his own way.  HE WAS PERFECT for me!  While riding him, I found me again.

And I laughed out loud.

In 48 hours, God had taken me through and brought me back to myself.  I felt FREE.  The spirits of the Pima tribe, the animals, the water, the rocks, and their horses warmed my heart and healed me.  They were all a gift and guides.

A reminder that the greatest, most powerful thing in the universe is not fear but LOVE.

That realization gave me an incredible joy and freedom to DREAM again!  To BELIEVE again and to know that I know that I know how truly blessed I am.

I was faced with one of my greatest fears and was blessed with a horse named Butch.

THINK.     WRITE.    BELIEVE.     ACT.

What We Take For Granted

It's so easy at times to get so caught up in what's missing - what we don't have - that we lose sight of the special miracles and wondrous blessings right in front of us.

While constantly learning and growing is one of the fundamentals I believe in - as is the quest for our dreams - I also recently rediscovered the power of the present.  

When was the last time you actually LOOKED at your spouse or life partner and SAW them? saw their heart? saw their dreams? saw their inner child at work or struggling to deal? saw the stress in their face or posture?

Today, did you smile at your life's love and let him/her SEE you?  -- let them see the love in your eyes or the adoration of your heart for them?

We all try to do our best but it's easy to get lost in the clutter of the routines.  That's how marriages get off track or our kids get into trouble... it's when we lose the intimacy that we lose ourselves - and can inevitably get disconnected from those we love most.

I believe the key here is to not only focus on YOUR dreams but also on the dreams of your spouse or partner as individuals AND as a couple (if you are a couple).  Your family is the greatest gift of all and they are living in the present WITH you.  So while it's important to recognize and pursue your vision yourself, it's also equally important to SHARE your Vision!

And at times, even take a step back and realize that you may already have your heart's truest dream - a lifelong love: whether that's your partner, your children, or your work.

So my challenge to us all today is to take a moment to truly LOOK at the person(s) you love and demonstrate the depth of love and joy by just acknowledging how amazing they are and how they contribute to your dream every single day!

Make the time.

Cook if you never do.  Come home early and kiss your wife's neck as you put your arms around her.  Rub his shoulders.  Hold that hug for an extra 5 seconds.  Sit on the floor with your kids.  Rub the tension from her neck.  Turn the TV off.  Hold hands.

In the relentless pursuit, what we take for granted could be the most treasured things in our lives... so take a moment to refocus.  You'll be so happy you did.   ;)

IF this is a good reminder for you - I'd love to hear what little thing you did to show the ones you love what they mean to you.  Send me a message or comment!

     THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

Steps 5, 6 ,7. Write, Speak, Act.

(sorry it's been a little while since I posted... thought I'd catch everything up at once! :)

Now, last time we talked, I introduced the concept of "marinating" for our fourth step.  THINKING.  The purpose of this was not to allow doubt to creep in and steal your word or phrase that you were newly given but to allow you to sit with your new possibility.  Should doubt or other questioning/negative thoughts begin their assault, recognize them for the thieves they are and reject them as you would any robber coming to your door.  I believe if that happened, you'd do a little more than 'just saying no!' so apply the same principles here.

Step 5 is my favorite.

Step 5.  WRITE down your word or phrase or VISION!!!!

Yes!  You guessed it.  By writing down your new word or idea, you are giving that new thought "presence."  You are introducing it as a reality.  You are allowing it to actually BE! 

My suggestion is that you write it into a journal or prayer diary but ALSO write it on something like a sticky note and then place that on your fridge, on your bathroom mirror, on your computer at work, your visor in your car, your school locker, or better yet - your T.V.!  --  LOL --  Put it where you will see it OFTEN!

Why?

Because Step 6 is to SPEAK your Truth!  

Speak your new word or idea or vision!  Look at what you've written and now read it OUT LOUD!  Speak it!  Let yourself hear you say the words.  And when you say them, don't speak it in a future or past tense.  Speak it NOW.  Call that thing that is not as if it were...  By speaking this out loud and hearing it and SEEING it (because you've written it down), you are creating a sensory reaction that will help you BELIEVE that what you've written, what you are speaking CAN actually become reality.

So you've written it, are speaking it... just starting to believe it - NOW WHAT?

Step 7 is to ACT!

huh?  Act how?  Say what?

The final step in your Vision process is to take what you've learned and now APPLY it.  To act on it!  How?  However...

If your vision was to have a different job and spend more time at home.  Put your resume together and start networking or start your own business.  Go see about a small business loan!  In the meantime, start leaving work at 5 instead of 6:00... try working from home one day if you can... or get home early and make a family dinner one night.

If your vision is for a reconciliation with family, take the step to reach out and start the conversation.  Deliver forgiveness and you'll often receive it...

Whatever your vision is, it probably involves CHANGE!  Change of something for something else.  Don't be afraid of what you want!  Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid!  Don't be afraid...  Changing how you think and speak will allow you to believe - have faith - that your heart's dream CAN come true.  When you believe, you act differently.

Choose your Vision! and watch what God and the universe does in response!

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT. 

Step 4. Marinate

We are all looking for answers of some kind.  The last three steps were designed to present you with the opportunity to HEAR something new - something different - something else.  And if you went through the steps, you did actually hear something - even if it was quiet.

Step 4 is about taking the time now to MARINATE on that word or phrase.  

To 'marinate:'  (n.) means to wait calmly for something to happen. 

Your next step once you have that word or phrase is to THINK on it.  SIT WITH IT...  Think about what it means for you and your life.  Don't dissect it endlessly and don't question it allowing doubt to steal it but simply recognize what your soul is trying to tell you and WHY it might be telling you what it did.  Sit with it...


Chances are it's probably an idea or thought that you know already... it may be something you need or something you need to fix or add.


Whatever IT is, now is the time to understand it so take time to THINK on it.  ;)  You might be surprised by what you find.

[To Kri & Hettie, thanks for reminding me that Everyday is an Opportunity!] 

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT. 

Step 3. Recognize the Answer

So far you've challenged yourself to find quiet time (breathing) and ask one simple but direct question:  What do you want?

Step 3 is Recognizing the ANSWER!

Huh?

Recognizing the Answer means allowing that first thought to JUST BE...  it means hearing your first thought... it means accepting your first thought.

So the exercise should go something like this:

1. breathe in, breathe out (@90 seconds minimal) = clear the clutter, no questions, no thoughts, just breathing [Note/Tip: It's easiest for me to do this in the shower in the morning and just let the water fall over my head.  I focus on my breathing and the feel of the water]
2. Once you've relaxed into that breathing -- however long it takes -- now ask the Question:  What do you want?
3. Now, what's the FIRST THOUGHT that pops into your head??

And I literally mean the first thought!

It could be something simple like:  peace.

But then peace becomes 'peace at work' or 'peace at home' then more specifically 'peace with my Mom' or 'peace with my son' or 'peace with my coworker...'

It could be something like:  time.

That could be 'time off' or 'time with family' or 'time to complete something like a project...'

The key here is to HEAR whatever that FIRST WORD or phrase actually IS!

Why does this matter?

It matters because whatever that first word or phrase is - is the beginning of you listening to yourself.  LISTENING to your heart.  LISTENING for your voice.  LISTENING.

This may sound simple but simple does not mean it's EASY.  This takes practice.  Practice NOT skill.  It takes practice to create the space to allow yourself to tune in to your own heart's channel.

TRY IT! and I hope you'll let me know what you hear...

Step 2. Allow for Introspection...

You've challenged yourself to find just 90 seconds in your day to be silent... time to quiet your mind - those racing thoughts, the voices of "I can't" or "You should" or "I need to" - for a few heart beats.

You did it!

Now ask yourself:  "Was that really THAT hard?"  For some who've never allowed themselves even a moment of peace - probably.  If that's you, you've made a HUGE leap!  Feel good and savor that victory!  Keep going.  Day in and day out until that 90 seconds becomes second nature... a habit.

For those of you who had no problem finding that time, consider that there are untold numbers of books and philosophies out there that say something to the effect of 'people who take anywhere from a minute or more to 10 minutes a day for quiet - whether that's meditation or simple silence are HAPPIER.'


Hmmmm...

So now you've started the process.  You are allowing your 90 seconds - consider challenging yourself to increase that "quiet time" over time...

Why?  To create the space for your mind to be at rest - peaceful - silent.  It's allowing your brain to exercise differently.

As you are retraining your brain through this process, once you've mastered your QUIET - it's time for Step 2.  Allow for thought.  THINKING.  Not random, jumbled, fleeting thoughts - no.  Focused introspection.

Focused introspection asks ONE question.  

It's a little like playing charades or pictionary... because you have to sort through the clutter that may come to get to the answer.  YOUR answer.

So what's the question, you wonder?  

Very simply:  

What do YOU want?

What do you WANT?

WHAT do you want?

Depending on how you say and hear the question, your thoughtful response may vary.  Nonetheless, you first have to find the time and create the space with your quiet time to even be able to HEAR the Question - let alone your honest answer.

So maintain at a minimum, your 90 seconds of quiet.  Then, once you've achieved that time, take a deep breath, release it slowly exhaling and ask yourself THE question.

That's right - JUST ask the question and keep breathing:  Deep inhale and exhale out. 

That's it.

Now rinse and repeat!  :)  just kidding... (on the rinse part).  

Repeat the question and the subsequent breathing at least three to five times.  For those of you who closed your eyes during this breathing/question process - upon the last question and exhale - open your eyes.

End Step 2.

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.