I got an interesting email asking where other peoples' free will
fits in to your vision? The example my exuberant friend gave was that he was sure he was meant to spend his life with Megan Fox
although she didn't know it yet (yes, I chuckled too).
It really is THE question, right?
- What if you love someone and they don't love you?
- What if you believe in your destiny - that you're meant to be a parent - but all circumstances say no?
- What if you've blown it with the one you love and they've now moved on? Are you still meant to be?
Well........... there's a few answers and lessons here but the bottom line is you can only control you
Let's start with the easiest and work our way through it:
If you believe you are meant to be a parent and thusfar you've been unsuccessful in that pursuit, decide what really matters to you: If it is simply that you believe you are meant to be a mother or father of a child then either get more specific about that dream or expand your definitions. What does that mean?
If for example, you can't physically have a child you can consider alternatives: Become a foster parent or adopt a child... if you've tried adoption, consider expanding your criteria: If you only wanted a newborn, you could consider a child up to 5 years old, 10 years old? What about International Adoption? If none of that is working, you could volunteer
. Boys & Girls Clubs need mentors. Teams need coaches. Children all over the world need help.
That said - IF you DO know in your heart
you are meant to be the parent of a 2 year old boy with brown eyes and curly hair because you've wanted to be a parent and subsequently had a dream where you saw that child and now can't get that image out of your head, then start praying for/speaking to that child. He is yours. Believe in your vision...
When you meet 'your child' or 'children' you'll KNOW. When you have a vision, get down to the lowest common denominator
of that dream. What is the thing that means the most to you?... whatever it is - trust in that destiny.
Now the Love Question
Two rules: 1) You can only control you.
2) Every person, every situation is unique.
While there may be similarities, no two people are the same. No two dreams are the same. The question you need to ask yourself is: What do YOU want at the center of your being? What is your truth?
Now my friend said he believed Megan Fox was his soulmate at first
when I asked him directly. Then as the conversation continued, it was more about her blue eyes
. He loved blue eyes. Then it was also a woman slightly shorter than him
whose head would easily fit on his shoulder while they were dancing... soon he added: who loved to eat, because he loved to cook
. Eventually, we got down to what he truly wanted and he admitted, he hadn't met her yet. (Nor had he even spoken that out loud before, let alone, written any of that down)...
So okay - What do you want?
If you believe you've met the woman you think is your soulmate / your person / the One but there are other real circumstances complicating things. You need to go back and again ask yourself the details. If you do that and get down to the core
of what you want for your life and that is embodied in this single person (and that person loves you
), then you are truly blessed! Whatever the circumstances are can be worked out. It may be difficult, even painful - but you will get there because that real connection / love between two people won't go away even over time when it's True.
Keep in mind though - there is a difference between love/lust or simply wanting what you can't have. This is again why it is SO important to get down to the Real Truth for yourself of what you want for your life.
Now, IF the person you love, simply doesn't feel the same way about you - that is a different matter. Here too write down what it is about that person you love so much. What is it?
Get down to the core. Consider that if
this person doesn't really love you in the same way then maybe those things you love are the indicators for what you want and nothing more. Take hope
in the reality that someone like what you actually want exists and recognize you haven't met your person yet. Wouldn't you want the person you love to love you as much as you love them?
Hmmm - maybe write that one down!
IF you've gone through all that soul searching - really written down what you want - and it IS that one
person in your life that you still come back to time and again regardless of the circumstances you face; AND
that person truly loves you too but is either afraid or now with someone else or any number of other issues, then that person has the Free Will (and the right)
to choose to stay in his/her circumstances and deny that Vision.
IF you face this reality, then I believe you have two choices:
1.) Believe in your vision for the two of you regardless.
Speak your truth. Act accordingly. BUT give yourself a timeframe
to witness a change. Your actions and faith will be confirmed one way or the other: Positive or Negative pointing you in another direction.
NOTE: This does not mean you become an obsessive stalker. If your behavior is negative or in any way unwelcomed, then STOP! That should be an indicator that something is OFF.
2.) Honor your Person's Choice (Free Will) and walk away right then.
Love them enough to respect their choice. You may be absolutely right and that may be THE person you were meant to be with - but if she (or he) doesn't choose that Vision too - you need to ask yourself if you truly want them?
- Your action will trigger a result:
Either that person will realize you are Worth changing their
circumstances for and will come after you... OR, your heart toward them will change.
In either case - you win!
The message here is to get down to the CORE
of what you want for yourself and then TRUST
your Vision. At the end of the day, the things at the heart of what you want and need for your life will be yours.
THINK. WRITE. BELIEVE. ACT.