It's the time of year when we cherish the things and people we love SO much that we overlook the quirks that drive us nuts the rest of the year and tell ourselves how endearing it all is... ;)
It's the time where the world collectively hopes for Peace on Earth and Good Will!
But it's ALSO the time of holiday blues because it's the time when we FEEL loss so acutely of those who are no longer with us. And that's hard. I like to tell myself sometimes that "Time heals all wounds" but the truth is some wounds simply don't heal. Sometimes the loss is so great, it simply must be endured. And THAT is okay.
The thing I've learned lately though is NOT to try to dismiss or bury those feelings. Sometimes, the thing to do is to lean into the pain and allow it to wash over you - to FEEL it. To cry... sob if necessary. To allow the grief or hurt or loss to simply have its due...
When you DO that - when you actively choose to allow the pain - you give yourself permission to grieve and to experience life in its fullest sense. I have found lately that our ability to EXPERIENCE profound JOY can and may be directly proportional to our ability to experience profound sadness or loss or anger also. Hmmmm....
FEELINGS are what they are... and if you put a lid on any one, you may inadvertantly be putting a lid on them all restricting yourself to mediocre middle.
Neither Hot, Nor Cold.
When was the last time you allowed yourself to have a FULL ON BELLY LAUGH?? The kind that makes your eyes water uncontrollably and your ribs hurt?
When was the last time you allowed yourself to truly MISS someone you LOVED?? The kind that makes your eyes water uncontrollably and your heart hurt?
For me, lukewarm is not how I want to be.
That's not a criticism of any one but rather a personal observation and goal.
This holiday season - allow yourself to LEAN IN to your emotions. FEEL whatever you feel FULLY. And if the emotion is one where you feel loss, then cry. But follow that set of tears with the flood of HAPPY memories that is what caused you to feel the loss in the first place.
I miss you, Gram.
Thank you for that... you made me who I am and helped shaped the heart I have.
All my love, always -
It's good to Lean In and Remember.