Limitations

Have you ever watched SMALLVILLE? or read a Superman comic?  I love the whole 'Man of Steel' theme and how he's only got two vulnerabilities:  Kryptonite and Lois.

Every hero has at least one flaw.

In every episode, our character is tested... and at times fails.  S/he fails and makes mistakes.  Yep - that's right.  Mistakes.

As a self-acknowledged perfectionist, even the word 'mistake' makes my jaw tighten.  I hate the notion that we learn the most through the mistakes we make... and all the lessons and teachable moments that can sometimes only come from the opposite end of success.  (See the visible shake of my head and shoulders as I type this...?)

Despite knowing this reality, it is STILL hard.  And why is that?


I believe it's because of the weight of expectation... not necessarily expectation itself and I believe it's because of certain inherent limitations designed into the life process.

Huh?

Our own kryptonite...

I think every journey toward your Vision or dream is exactly that - a journey.  It's as much about the process as it is about the goal... and for that reason, we will all be plagued with certain limitations along the way.  WHY?  For the previously mentioned, incredibly annoying clichés listed above.

To learn.
To make mistakes.
and to learn from them...

Relatively simple concepts - but incredibly powerful truths.  

For me, somehow knowing that the mistakes I've made and will no doubt make in the future (despite best efforts to the contrary) help ease the jaw tension.

Now as to the expectations part -- I think we all have to EXPECT the best.  EXPECT our vision to be fulfilled.  But that is entirely different than being weighed down by expectations.  It's the fine line between positive and negative.  A nuance - yes - but a distinction nonetheless.

When your own expectations become a weight verses a help or something to drive you, then question them.  Question the thoughts and the voice and tone... Write down the thing(s) that are weighing on you and decide if they are real and true or simply fear.  Test it.  Sift the thoughts and the words to find the truth.  And then apply what you learn.

We all have limitations.  We all make mistakes.  I think the key to obtaining your dream is to recognize both and in time LEARN how to balance our expectations.

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

Happy Thanksgiving!

There's nothing like spending a beautiful Fall day with the people you love...

Be thankful for the little moments.
I am.

Spend the time LIVING!

Word Choice

Don't you get tired of all the endless speculation about everything?  It would seem as a society we've given credence to every opinion possible and depending on the day, points of view change with the prevailing wind.

Not sure about you but I crave some stability - some consistency.  Whatever happened to universal truths?  What happened to civility in debate?

I remember how we used to sit on my grandparents porch, particularly in the summer and just talk... how neighbors would see us out there and come by for a chat and some tea.  And we would TALK about everything! and at times, even argue... but then the parties would wave good night and walk home.  "See ya tomorrow, Frank.  Night Millie..." neighbors would say to my Pap and Gram... even when they told one another in no uncertain terms they were each full of sh*t or simply dead wrong.  ~LOL~

Somehow there was an honesty and an honor among neighbors... same thing with family and the dinner table.  We could just talk and often, laugh.

Today though, that seems to have disappeared.  We've forgotten how to "talk" AND "be neighborly" at the same time as if it's an oxymoron of sorts like walking and chewing gum.

I miss that.

Now, there's never any backing down or agreeing to disagree.  It's all out war with no regard for anything less than absolute victory... and the truth, civility, and a willingness to consider alternatives are all casualties of our word war.

And that makes me sad.

Words are powerful.  I fully believe that.  I believe they are tools that can be used to build or destroy and everything in between.  For me, that premise alone is a universal truth.  And because of that belief, I watch what I say.  I always want to be deliberate in what I convey and not reactionary.  Now that is not to say I can't be spontaneous or enjoy a good discussion.  No.  It means I try, generally, to simply be thoughtful in what I speak.

It's also why I write.  I believe in writing things down as you know.  :) 

Writing can often help frame or clarify thoughts.  It can provide stability because it allows the author to come back and re-read or edit as needed... because it's THERE.  You don't have to try and remember what you thought or said, it's tangible.

I like tangible.  Concrete.  Consistent. 

I was raised Catholic.  Growing up, the incredible monotony of the traditions and prayers like the Nicene Creed or The Lord's Prayer drove me crazy.  I could repeat those words asleep.  Now that I'm older - despite having studied numerous religions, attended countless non-Catholic worship or other services, etc. - I APPRECIATE the words... the faith... the focus and the tradition.

The words matter.

Words form those universal truths.  Words - whether written, spoken, or thought - shape who you are and what you do... what you believe.  And what you don't.

Think about your words. 

Do you know what you say?  Do you mean what you think?  Consider what your words convey about you... your family... your choices... your dreams.

Who do you say you are?

Take a moment to simply put your thoughts or the things you say on paper.  One or two phrases you say or think frequently.  Now look at those words.  Are those words representative of who you are and what you want? what you actually believe in your heart of hearts?

If yes, whoooo hoo!!!!  You're speaking your Truth and hopefully your Vision for yourself.

If not, choose differently.  And start saying what you mean to say...

THINK.     WRITE.    BELIEVE.     ACT.

Breathe. Release.

I wonder sometimes what it takes to "get over" something.  I write about VISION - your Dream.  But sometimes, we all just get stuck.

Every one I know seems to have the one or two things that hold us. 

For some it could be eating - snacking late at night, improper diet overall combined with lack of movement = weight gain.

For others it could be a lack of focus - you like so many things or are good at so many things, you do nothing.  Stay in the same job, hobby, bad relationship, etc.

Still for others, it could be any number of negative behaviors from being a shopaholic to a workaholic and everything in between.

In every case though, we are doing something or allowing something to keep us somewhere we do NOT want to be.  It may just be habit.  It may be fear (my perennial favorite).  It may be a lack of tools to effectively handle the ineffective coping mechanism we've created...  ;)

Regardless though, we all have SOMEthing.  So what to do?  How do you get UN-STUCK?

Well, here's what I've recently started to learn:

Sometimes, you need a coach and a support group:  people who truly SUPPORT your goal, your vision.

I recently joined Austin Adventure Boot Camp (highly recommend it, by the way) and also requested some personal training.  I wrote my vision for myself here since my move and part of that was to learn how to put myself first.  To find time to exercise, eat better, and generally be good to ME.  And man-oh-man has THAT been HARD!

It feels selfish.  It feels awkward.  It's hard to FIND THE TIME!  Those old excuses had worked for me for years.  Somehow though, when I put this latest hope / vision down on paper - lo and behold - God started bringing FANTASTIC people into my life.

First I was given the greatest trainer (Erinn) that I've ever had - literally in 20 years!  She's got the best attitude.  She's sort of like Jillian meets Kelly Ripa.  She gets down to brass tax but most importantly, she listens and she teaches.  She's challenging, encouraging, and willing to work WITH me...

I've also been given incredible people to work with at my job.  One-by-one different individuals have come forward to buy me coffee or a healthy lunch... teach me yoga exercises in my office... or bring me a home-cooked meal.  All making the effort to HELP me.  To support ME.

And of course, you can't really do ANYthing without support at home too -- from your family (spouse, parents, kids, dogs... etc).

Talk about humbling...

The cool thing here is that I'm not STUCK anymore.  I'm LIVING.  I'm moving.  And with all this activity comes the reality that when you get UN-Stuck, you often uncork some bottled up emotions. 

And THAT's OKAY...

It's the "breathe...and release..." part that we all have to do.  It requires action.  It is a physical act.  With that physical task of filling your lungs up with oxygen and then exhaling fully in repetition, something happens. 

It is the ACT of letting go:  RELEASE

What do you need to release today?  

Is there something holding you back from your vision for yourself?

Consider what exactly will get you moving in the direction of your dream.  Think on it.  Write it down.  Believe you CAN accomplish what you want - and if you can't believe for yourself, find others who will believe for you until you can!  And finally... ACT accordingly.

You'll be amazed at the result and how God will LITERALLY bring people into your life in support of your vision when you choose the path you are meant to walk.  ;)

And when you're ready, you'll experience that real release!  Importantly though, remember too that the lesson for me here was also that I needed to realize to get to the "release," I first had to BREATHE.

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

V O T E!!!

Tomorrow is election day. 

It still remains the one opportunity for a single voice.  It's a right... a privilege that so many people around the world would literally die to have.

The combination of voting privileges plus a free press are the cornerstones of a free society, a democracy.  Even though it often feels like your vote doesn't matter, please believe that it DOES.  It always does.  A waterfall begins with one raindrop.  Without every voice, we are left with rule by the few who may or may not understand, let alone represent our collective voice.

I personally feel that if you don't vote then you don't get to complain either - about how the country is going to hell in a hand-basket; or how so&so doesn't know what he's doing, etc. etc.  

You forfeit your right to b*tch. 

SO, yes, that means we all have to educate yourself about what these politicians and their parties represent (and for me, that means READING what their platforms are not simply allowing the talking heads to TELL me).

So check them out and decide for yourself who will BEST represent you:

1. Democratic National Committee
2. Independent(s)
3. Republican National Committee

I challenge everyone to READ the national platforms of all the parties.  Learn what each are saying.  You may be surprised.  I was.

At the end of the day though, I just hope everyone votes.  And I hope we all vote simply because we CAN in the greatest nation on earth.

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT/VOTE!

Mind Traps

A hero is made in a moment.  How do you decide what to do in a given moment? 

You can't question the past or spend your life worrying about the future.  When you expend that much energy in either of those states, you risk the moment.  In the moment is when you make the choice(s) that determine the course of your life.

Moment by Moment.

So then where does VISION fit?  How can you live and BE in the moment and still have a vision, a dream?  Is it a contradiction?

Of course not.

How do you define  your vision?  In today's headline-driven world, when and how do you find time to think? to be still? to contemplate what you want.  My premise here is that you can't get what you want unless you KNOW what you want.  Often we define it by what we don't want... choosing the negative in an effort to rule out certain options.  I believe negative begets negative so get outta there!!  The list of things you don't want could be limitless but the critical things that you DO want may only fill up a few sheets of paper.  Go with what you know, not what you don't.  The reverse (the negative) is a mind trap.

What's a mind trap?

A mind trap is something I call the negative thought onslaught that happens to prevent you from moving forward - from acting rather than waiting - from believing, choosing, doing.  It's the deception that negativity introduces telling you that you "have more time so do it later" or that lulls you into listening ONLY to the negative words.

It's the voice that says:  "You can't..." and "Don't bother..."  In short, it's the Fear Factor.  It's a decepticon!  It's the LIAR and THIEF of your dreams... and the mind trap is its tool.

So, what's a hero?

How do you define a hero?  Generally, it's a person who displays courage in the face of danger or adversity, who may sacrifice themselves for a greater good.  A hero can be many things depending on your point of view -- a teacher who shows up day after day to teach high school English; a firefighter or police officer; someone in the military; a foster parent... or simply a parent.

BUT, No Where in any definition does it say a hero is someone without fear... it says, a person who displays courage.  Courage is not the absence of fear, rather it is a choice to act in spite of the fear.


Now, stay with me here:  If the mind trap is fear actively working against you - teaching you to dwell in the negative - then a hero is also someone who actively resists that fear - any fear - and ACTS in spite of it in the positive, right?  hmmm.  Yep.  I think so.

What will it take for YOU to be the hero of your own life?

Every moment of every day you make choices.

Take a moment and identify your thoughts.  What are they saying TO you?  If there's something telling you 'this is stupid' or 'you don't have time for this' or any number of a 1000 other NEGATIVE phrases that would prevent you from considering a possibility:  TELL THOSE THOUGHTS TO STOP!

Resistance is NOT futile.  It actually works.  It just takes practice. We simply have to re-train our brains to accept the POSITIVE.  To recognize the positive... and to SPEAK the positive.

The mind trap is relentless though so we have to be vigilant.  Battling for control of the words running through our mind.

A hero really is determined in a moment.

THINK about who and what you want to be.  Now BE that.  

If you want to be a Super MOM then be the Mom your kids need STARTING NOW!  If you want to be better at your job, then DO IT better!  If you want to live a better life, then LIVE!  Don't wait.

Your VISION for your life starts NOW - with one choice at a time - moment by moment by moment.  Start walking in the positive and before you know it, you'll have become what you always wanted to be.

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

The Memories Remain...

Have you ever been stopped cold by a memory?

These can be good or bad.

It struck me how often the past resurfaces... if we're not careful, the past can and will dictate the future.  How?  You can become so consumed with what WAS, you confuse it with 'what you think might have been...' and miss your chance to choose your dream NOW.


To be clear though - now - does not mean status quo.  No, on the contrary, it means choosing IN THE NOW to follow your dream.  To follow your heart and not be bound by perceived obligation or fear.  It means make decisions right now and then again and again and again to stay - or get back - on course!  Moment by moment.

As for others,

most people need their comfort zone.  They need for YOU to be who they think they know.  They need you to stay in your box:  to remain who you were because IF they acknowledge that you are changing or have changed then their own decisions can be called into question. And unfortunately, most refuse to change a decision or an opinion once it's made.  They can confuse that refusal as loyalty, experience, or any number of other things.  The truth is that it's often fear or stubbornness.

It's often something inside them.   

Why am I saying that?

Because this is a reminder that You can only control YOU... you can only choose to control your own thoughts and the words you speak, the actions you take.  Don't allow other's PERCEPTIONS of your truth to shape your choice.  Acknowledge your own change!  Live in each moment.

Dare to always be who you are and to follow YOUR vision!  

We are all changing every day.  There is nothing in our world that is absolutely still unless it's frozen and even then the molecules may still be in motion.  - Embrace  the  Possibilities -

I asked if you ever had a memory stop you cold?
Often a good, beautiful memory can become a source of heartache if you've lost the person or thing that brought you that joy.  If that ever happens to you, work toward reclaiming your memory.  Recognizing the beauty in the moment by choosing to shut out the pain of loss while you re-experience that loved one or that event again.

Don't allow any form of negativity to disrupt your mind and afflict your heart.  You can still LEARN from your past without being haunted by it.  You can still Love and Cherish those you've lost and their amazing presence in your life without being tormented by sorrow in the present due to their absence.  [Note, I'm not talking about typical sadness or grief or loss but on a long-suffering circumstance that can be debilitating, tormenting, or prolonged to the point that it is affecting all you do].

Work toward speaking, believing, and thinking positively with regard to your past and those memories. Reclaim them!  The more disciplined you can become with your thoughts, the more likely you'll be to challenge yourself to be better, to be more... to achieve your vision for your own life.

Live in the Moment Today - making memories - but don't be afraid to decide to change or to follow a different path if that different path is your True Calling.

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.