Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

I hope you and your family and friends have a wonderfully healthy and happy Holiday Season!

Redefining Love

The cliches that all say things like 'with age comes wisdom' are all incredibly, fundamentally TRUE.  There's definitely something to be said for the perspective that comes with getting older.  Now I'm not ancient by any means yet but in my 40+ years I am coming to understand not only my own value but also WHAT I value... and that understanding is essentially about Redefining Love.

Love really IS patient and kind; believes all things; endures all things... and at its core: 

Love truly never ever fails.

The interesting thing now that's altered my mindset is that I now allow and apply these principles of love to myself.

I have realized that I'm no longer tolerant of not being loved fully which means that I have begun to rethink how I allow myself to be treated by all who are in my life.  That also means I am allowing myself to get out of my head and into my heart much more... I am recognizing the circumstances, words, or actions that hurt me and saying to those people, "That's not okay.  It's not okay for you to treat me with disrespect by not valuing me (my feelings); or not allow me to express my feelings without judgment; or simply to not care enough to recognize how your actions can or do hurt me."

I am no longer absorbing the emotional impact of the actions of others simply because I have the capacity to love them or understand them (their reasons why).  I am saying "No.  This is my boundary." or even scarier yet I am saying "This is how I feel" and actually telling the honest truth.  I am choosing to communicate differently.

At this point, it is both terrifying and yet freeing to Speak My Truth... to say to a boss, coworker, friend, spouse, family member, or acquaintance what or how I FEEL without the need to logically justify my response.  The catch however is that I am also learning to RELEASE all those people from my expectation of reaction or response in return.

Ahhhhaaaa - you knew there was a catch, right?

Yep.

You'll have to allow all those who are in your life and used to you behaving or reacting one way to get used to you responding in a new way... and that takes patience from both parties.  And it takes PRACTICE.

The miracle that results however is worth the uncomfortable work in process.

By choosing to redefine love for yourself, you are unleashing the power that LOVE is to create new or renewed RELATIONSHIP with the people in your life.  Again, the key here is love.  This is not about unloading every criticism or hurt you've ever felt, righting past wrongs or selfish motivations... nor is it about EXPECTATIONS.  Rather it is an opportunity to refine what and how you communicate so that you are doing your part to BE Present and Honest with everyone in your life.

So for this, there is only the present.  You are Writing Your Vision moment by moment through your choice to actively love:  Open Heart 101.

It really IS A Wonderful Life... and I am choosing to LIVE it.  By redefining love of and for ourselves, we each have the opportunity to experience real depth of connection with one another... and that's a beautiful, miraculous gift.

Happy Holidays!
angela

How did I get here, again?

My head hurts today... as does the rest of me.  I've been traveling for work pretty much non-stop for the last several months.  Not exactly sure how that came about to the extent that it has... is one of those "how did I get here?" questions.

Life can be so funny.  When I DO slow down long enough to allow my mind some peace, it's amazing the clarity I get.  Things like:

• Stress will kill you
• Bills don't pay themselves
• Dry cleaning shouldn't be your only method of laundry
• a dog wagging it's tail really brings me joy
• I do love my pillow

And then I circle back to the "why are you doing this?" question.  So then I start to ask myself, "well, yea... WHY exactly?"  This is immediately followed by the entire list of "HAVE TO's" that seem to dictate my every move lately.

Hmmmm...

Did I create the "Have To" list?

Am I just reacting because I'm overwhelmed?

Who exactly said I "had to" DO anything?

Hmmmm....

Time to REGROUP!  

Okay, so how exactly do I deconstruct what I've been doing and determine my 

Go Forward Strategy?

Simple.

I don't deconstruct anything.  Just need to let it go... AND get back to writing my vision for Today, this week, month and so on.

There's no point really in trying to figure out WHY.  I just need to change my behavior.

exhale

deep breath in

exhallllllleeeeee

It's really easy to beat ourselves up for things we haven't done, etc.  We ARE our own worst critics after all.  It's also easy to get lost in the past.  The truth is that there is ONLY now.  Only Today.  There's no guarantee for tomorrow though we'd all like to believe so... and yesterday really and truly is over.  So what about NOW?

I've written my vision for my future... revised it quite a few times already.  But I haven't written my Now lately.  So I am going to do that next.  Then I'm going to dust off my guitar and relearn my chords.

exhale

I've let "now" get away from me and right at this moment, I'm taking that back.  My life can't be about waiting forever for what I don't have nor dwelling on yesterday.  I know where I am going - I have my vision - but I'm missing out on today.  So enough already...

Time to live.

This moment.

This day.

Happy Friday all - I hope you all spend today PRESENT.

;) angela

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

Define "Complicated..."

Nowadays the two catch-phrases that annoy me the most are "It's complicated..." and "It is what it is..."  It seems as though people have become accustomed to indecisiveness.  Better to wait it out and see what happens, right?

NOT.

In politics, we see polling for everything.  Messaging is critical.  Same is often true in the corporate business world, in government, and lately even in spiritual conversations.  Yep, even there...

I find myself looking upward and asking:  "REALLY???"

What's sooooo complicated???

Truth is - I don't think it IS all THAT complicated.  I think it's all pretty simple.  Problem is we - humans - can complicate or dramatize almost anything.

SIDEBAR:  Have you seen those Liberty Mutual insurance commercials??  Totally crack me up because they are SO true.  Sometimes despite our best efforts, stuff still happens... :)

Take ANY situation or circumstance you're facing right now.  Chances are if you're thinking "it's complicated" that most likely means there's some decision you're putting off making.  You don't want to hurt someone.  You're afraid.  Or some other negative emotion that seems far worse than the current feeling.  Hmmm - yea.

Thing is we've become so conditioned to 'reacting' that we're often terrified of ACTING.

"Plan B... need a Plan B" is what I hear ALL the time.

I don't believe in Plan B.  I think Plan B is by definition putting it out there that you don't have any faith whatsoever in Plan A.

Faith by definition is "the substance of things HOPED FOR, the evidence of things NOT seen."  So why can't we just go with Plan A?  What are we so afraid of that we default to 'it's complicated?' Or 'it is what it is...?'

We're afraid of scenarios.  We all do it.  We go through the endless waterfall list of "possibilities" and get overwhelmed and stuck.  We are all so often fearful of the 'unknown' or worse yet 'what we THINK we know' that we'd rather just not face it.  Maybe if I wait long enough, someone else will decide... because then "I" don't have to be accountable for the choice.  "I" don't have to be the one causing the change which we equate with PAIN.

Uh huh.

The fear tells us that the status quo is FAR better than CHANGE...

Oh really?
Who told you that the equation is:

CHANGE = PAIN = BAD => Avoid PAIN ~ Avoid Change!

NOTE:  Think about ANY hero you may have.  What is the one thing they ALL have in common?


The funny thing is...

Change is a part of life.  There is nothing on this earth or in the heavens that isn't constantly in motion.  There's laws of attraction and energy. Nothing is ever created or destroyed... physics.  Mathematics.  Science.  And of course, Spirituality.  Even the bible tells us so.  When Moses asked "Who are you?"  God answered "I AM."

Not I was... or I will be... but I AM.

Present.  Constant.  A state of being not a state of been or be!  :)

We are ALL changing every second of every day so WHAT in the world is so scary???  Why would we settle for a false status quo (there's no such thing) in an attempt to stave off CHANGE?

Change is coming.

Change is here.

Change is GOOD... because it "IS."

The fascinating thing about the human condition is that we all long for change... to be better, get better... and yet?!!!?

See where I'm going here?? 

The greatest lessons I think we all learn in our lives is that when we TAKE A RISK the rewards - whether they are rewards in learning, maturity, finance, career, spirituality... (the list goes on) - ARE WORTH it on SOME level.  Always.  Every time.

As human BEINGS (not human doings), we have been fashioned to EXPERIENCE life.  That means that it is NEVER about the status quo.  Never.  Even when we are told, "Peace be still" that still requires ACTION not passivity.

Think about your life.
What's happening RIGHT NOW?

What is it that scares you the most?  Then ask yourself - WHY?  When we all start to break it down and actually DEFINE "Complicated" we can pretty quickly see that it really ISN'T.

THINK.  WRITE.   BELIEVE.   ACT.

Life's Little Things...

Today it's raining - down pouring really - in Austin.  It's one of those beautiful, cleansing summer rains that smells earthy, clean, and fresh.  It melts the heat and delivers a melody of calm, relaxing torrents.

I love a summer thunderstorm.

They remind me of my grandmother... As a child and throughout my life, it's no secret that I adored my grandmother.  I've often been asked what made her so special or what was it about her that I loved so much?  Well, it was a thousand little things.  But mostly it was her seemingly unending love for me.  A love that shone through in everything she did when I was near her.  How her face would light up when I walked in... the fact that she'd hug me so tightly and kiss me as if she'd not seen me in years even if it was only a few hours ago... it was her laugh and that she found humor in most things.  It was that she made time for me and when I was with her, I was the center of her world... that she SAW me.

As a child, it's a true wonder to receive honest love.  Love that says "you'll never disappoint me" "I think you hung the moon!" with genuine affection.

As an adult, the continual, unwavering gift of that type of love is a miracle.  It grounds and centers your very soul.

But what's so great about thunderstorms?

When I was a kid and even a teen, I'd often spend the night at Gram and Pap's... she and I would stay up late after Pap had dozed off in his chair.  Many a summer night, we'd go out and sit on their porch.  It was a wonderful porch with a real roof over head but also the old school aluminum awnings that extended the reach of the porch... the type of awning that echoed rain.  Gram and I would sit out there on that porch for hours talking, laughing, and usually eating some sort of fresh fruit.  She seemed to have an endless supply of grapes or oranges, plums, nectarines, cherries... and the occasional dollop of vanilla ice cream.  We'd sit and snack until the wee hours of the morning - especially in the summer time.  But most of all, one of our FAVORITE times to be outside was during a storm.  We'd sit out there on that porch and cackle like kids with each thunderclap as we'd jump out of our skin.  It was late one summer night - storming.  I kept sticking my arm out to feel the rain fall.  Gram just laughed at me... then she snuck up behind me and grabbed my shoulders as if to push me out in the rain.  I jumped sky high and she laughed hysterically.  I scowled back swearing I wasn't afraid which made her laugh all the more.  Then I challenged her back saying I was gonna go stand out in that storm!  She mischievously met my glare and dared me to do it.  "I WILL!" I said, sticking my arm out again.  "Go ahead!" she countered.  So I did. (of course, right, for those of you who know me - lol ;)  I marched down two whole steps out from under the awnings and stood facing the neighbors house and the hills in the back in the downpour.  Gram just laughed all the more!  Then a HUGE clap of thunder sent me flying right into her lap soaking wet.  She just kept laughing and said "that thunder's not gonna get you!  Come on!"  And just like that she grabbed my hand and we stood back out there in the rain - together.  It was perfect.

Suffice it to say, that's about all I remember - except that we both got cold and then ran down to the basement to jump in the shower just to get warm.  Post shower we had some tea and eventually went to bed.

Gram never said anything dramatic like "always dance in the rain" or "face your fears" or any number of other pearls of verbal wisdom.  She just LIVED... and often laughed about whatever she was doing. That's one of the many things that made her so unique and so special.

I can't ever remember not loving summer storms.  No matter where in the world I was or what I was doing, the sound of thunder and good torrential rain always makes me pause.  And every now and then I can't help myself - I go stand, kick a puddle, or do a little dance in the rain.  Just because...

My dream for today is for every person to take just a moment and really think about the people you LOVE.  Do you love with conditions? or do you just LOVE, letting your heart be FULL for that other soul? whether it's your children, grandchildren, spouse/partner, or friend?

Challenge yourself to SEE them and allow that overwhelming, overflowing depth of love to come pouring out - express it!  On your face, in your eyes, with your smile, and hug! SHOW them!  You've NO idea of the impact it will have... and for anyone who can, I highly encourage - just once - for you to stand in the rain.

[And for all you parents and grandparents, teach the children in your life to STAND in the RAIN... but don't just dare them to do it.  Stand out there with them!  You'll both never forget it, I promise you.]

At the end of our days, whenever that may be, it will be Life's Little Things that truly matter most.

Thanks Gram... for teaching me still.

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

WV is coming to the Big XII

For anyone who is a college football fan, there is NOTHING like the beginning of the season!  And this year, my beloved WVU Mountaineers are joining the Big XII Conference!

Look out WORLD, West Virginia is playing one game at a time on the road to win our first ever National Championship... and the people of WV cannot wait!

2012 West Virginia Mountaineers Football Schedule
Date		Opponent	Time/TV	Tickets
Saturday 09/01/12		Marshall Thundering Herd  Mountaineer Field, Morgantown, WV	12:00 p.m. ET FX	Buy Tickets
Saturday 09/08/12	---	Open Date	---	---
Saturday 09/15/12		James Madison Dukes  FedEx Field, Landover, MD	4:30 p.m. ET TV TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 09/22/12		Maryland Terrapins  Mountaineer Field, Morgantown, WV	TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 09/29/12		Baylor Bears (HC) Mountaineer Field, Morgantown, WV	TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 10/06/12		at Texas Longhorns  Darrell K. Royal - TX Mem. Stadium, Austin, TX	TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 10/13/12		at Texas Tech Red Raiders  Jones AT&T Stadium, Lubbock, TX	TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 10/20/12		Kansas State Wildcats  Mountaineer Field, Morgantown, WV	TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 10/27/12	---	Open Date	---	---
Saturday 11/03/12		TCU Horned Frogs  Mountaineer Field, Morgantown, WV	TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 11/10/12		at Oklahoma State Cowboys  Boone Pickens Stadium, Stillwater, OK	TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 11/17/12		Oklahoma Sooners  Mountaineer Field, Morgantown, WV	TBA	Buy Tickets
Friday 11/23/12		at Iowa State Cyclones  Jack Trice Stadium, Ames, IA	3:30 p.m. ET ABC	Buy Tickets
Saturday 12/01/12		Kansas Jayhawks  Mountaineer Field, Morgantown, WV	TBA	Buy Tickets

Let's Goooooo Mountaineeeeeers!!!

What's Next?

Well suffice it to say, I've been crazy busy lately... my job has afforded me the opportunity to fly across the country with some frequency these past few months.  I've been doing my best to work out again in an effort to be healthier; and I've been making time to have some FUN rather than waiting "until" or "as soon as..." (fill in your own blanks).

I can honestly say that TODAY was the first time in months I felt energetic.  I got up and made myself breakfast then prepared to go kayaking with my best friend who's become my trainer.  Out on the water on a kayak gliding across the lake felt beautiful, difficult, energizing, relaxing all at once.  It's simplicity was perfection.  In those moments I felt FREE and yet completely connected.  My cluttered mind focused and relaxed.  I am relearning 'how to breathe' and move.

By making time for myself the past few weeks, I've realized not only how unhealthy I'd become but also how distracted.  I've been unable to sleep for months.  My ability to be effective in any environment became incredibly taxing... and for an introvert, feeling unable to find any sort of 'QUIET' was beginning to madden me.  Funny how subtle and yet damaging life's daily circumstances can be when you're not really paying attention but are in react mode.

In short, I allowed myself to get lost.

Why?  How?  Well, last year was a very difficult year for me and as I'd written before, for the first time in my life, I felt my ability to bounce back was shattered.  I've been tired, taxed/maxed out, with very little willingness to grant myself any grace and I've been ANGRY.  Angry at my circumstances, people closest to me, and furious with myself for allowing those circumstances to happen and hurt me.  Now, here's the thing I've  since learned about anger -- if you don't deal with it directly, it builds... and it will rear it's proverbial head sometimes when you least expect it -- literally.

In my typical way, I began Writing Things Down months ago.  But these journal entries were more like a tirade than anything productive or visionary.  Still I reasoned that these ramblings were my 'healthy' attempt at expression and release.  My mind and heart were searching for a means to let go of the toxic negativity that my anger was creating.  Unfortunately, no matter what I did, it never seemed to be enough and my growing frustration with my inability to release my anger was just making me angrier.  Talk about a vicious cycle!  So okay.  I was angry.  People get angry every day.  No big deal.  I was allowed, right?  Hmmm... I got to the point where I'd ask myself constantly - "where is this coming from?  is this feeling about what's happening now?  is the circumstance of this moment generating a real emotion or is it a reminder of something else/something past?"  My usual mental analytics and gymnastics was on FULL BLAST 24/7.  "Am I just tired from traveling? not sleeping? stress?" and "How do I STOP this?"

Well, guess what?  There's no stopping it... there's only the opportunity to learn from it and allow yourself to experience it.  You know I hate the saying "It is what it is."  However, in this case, that is the honest truth.  There was no denying it, escaping it, hiding it, burying it, ignoring it or even attempting to face it and repel it.  My anger was going to run its course.  Period.

My friend Lidia has been saying to me for months now, "You just gotta experience it and let it flow through you then you can RELEASE it."  For the life of me, I had absolutely NO idea how to DO that.  It sounded good... but what was the "practice" of it?  How could I really DO it?  [See and the more the answer eluded me, the angrier I'd get... LOL]

So a few weeks ago I made up my mind (again) to stop being angry at my anger AND while I was at it to get out of my own way.  Despite traveling weekly, I still made myself get up morning when I could to at least stretch and work out during the week some how, some way.  Step 1.  Next, I started monitoring my food and sleep (I highly recommend fitbit.com).  Step 2 check.  Now at last TODAY after a week in one location - despite the stress, work, etc. - I HAD A GREAT DAY!  No Anger.  :)  WOW!

After our kayaking excursion, Lidia took me grocery shopping and I ended my afternoon of errands at Lowe's where I bought a truckload full of tools, etc. to FINALLY organize my garage.  I wasn't exhausted from the errands but energized by them!  I got home and made my lunches for the next few days... and got my food, etc. organized as well.

Back On Track!

And now tonight, as I reflected on my new-found productivity.  I realized I was HAPPY... not angry or anything else.  Just happy.  Relaxed.   PRESENT.

I missed this... I missed ME.  You ever feel like that??

It seems the decision I made to stop being Angry at my Anger was the trigger that finally allowed me to experience it, allow it to "be" and to continue to flow rather than staying blocked in my mind and heart.  That choice only a few weeks ago was what created the opening for RELEASE.  Could it really be THAT simple?  Apparently.  Go figure.

What's Next??
All I know is that I'm happy to have THIS Moment... and all the moments I had today.  Tomorrow will take care of itself.  For now, I believe I'm going to go to SLEEP.

Night.