WV is coming to the Big XII

For anyone who is a college football fan, there is NOTHING like the beginning of the season!  And this year, my beloved WVU Mountaineers are joining the Big XII Conference!

Look out WORLD, West Virginia is playing one game at a time on the road to win our first ever National Championship... and the people of WV cannot wait!

2012 West Virginia Mountaineers Football Schedule
Date		Opponent	Time/TV	Tickets
Saturday 09/01/12		Marshall Thundering Herd  Mountaineer Field, Morgantown, WV	12:00 p.m. ET FX	Buy Tickets
Saturday 09/08/12	---	Open Date	---	---
Saturday 09/15/12		James Madison Dukes  FedEx Field, Landover, MD	4:30 p.m. ET TV TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 09/22/12		Maryland Terrapins  Mountaineer Field, Morgantown, WV	TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 09/29/12		Baylor Bears (HC) Mountaineer Field, Morgantown, WV	TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 10/06/12		at Texas Longhorns  Darrell K. Royal - TX Mem. Stadium, Austin, TX	TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 10/13/12		at Texas Tech Red Raiders  Jones AT&T Stadium, Lubbock, TX	TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 10/20/12		Kansas State Wildcats  Mountaineer Field, Morgantown, WV	TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 10/27/12	---	Open Date	---	---
Saturday 11/03/12		TCU Horned Frogs  Mountaineer Field, Morgantown, WV	TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 11/10/12		at Oklahoma State Cowboys  Boone Pickens Stadium, Stillwater, OK	TBA	Buy Tickets
Saturday 11/17/12		Oklahoma Sooners  Mountaineer Field, Morgantown, WV	TBA	Buy Tickets
Friday 11/23/12		at Iowa State Cyclones  Jack Trice Stadium, Ames, IA	3:30 p.m. ET ABC	Buy Tickets
Saturday 12/01/12		Kansas Jayhawks  Mountaineer Field, Morgantown, WV	TBA	Buy Tickets

Let's Goooooo Mountaineeeeeers!!!

What's Next?

Well suffice it to say, I've been crazy busy lately... my job has afforded me the opportunity to fly across the country with some frequency these past few months.  I've been doing my best to work out again in an effort to be healthier; and I've been making time to have some FUN rather than waiting "until" or "as soon as..." (fill in your own blanks).

I can honestly say that TODAY was the first time in months I felt energetic.  I got up and made myself breakfast then prepared to go kayaking with my best friend who's become my trainer.  Out on the water on a kayak gliding across the lake felt beautiful, difficult, energizing, relaxing all at once.  It's simplicity was perfection.  In those moments I felt FREE and yet completely connected.  My cluttered mind focused and relaxed.  I am relearning 'how to breathe' and move.

By making time for myself the past few weeks, I've realized not only how unhealthy I'd become but also how distracted.  I've been unable to sleep for months.  My ability to be effective in any environment became incredibly taxing... and for an introvert, feeling unable to find any sort of 'QUIET' was beginning to madden me.  Funny how subtle and yet damaging life's daily circumstances can be when you're not really paying attention but are in react mode.

In short, I allowed myself to get lost.

Why?  How?  Well, last year was a very difficult year for me and as I'd written before, for the first time in my life, I felt my ability to bounce back was shattered.  I've been tired, taxed/maxed out, with very little willingness to grant myself any grace and I've been ANGRY.  Angry at my circumstances, people closest to me, and furious with myself for allowing those circumstances to happen and hurt me.  Now, here's the thing I've  since learned about anger -- if you don't deal with it directly, it builds... and it will rear it's proverbial head sometimes when you least expect it -- literally.

In my typical way, I began Writing Things Down months ago.  But these journal entries were more like a tirade than anything productive or visionary.  Still I reasoned that these ramblings were my 'healthy' attempt at expression and release.  My mind and heart were searching for a means to let go of the toxic negativity that my anger was creating.  Unfortunately, no matter what I did, it never seemed to be enough and my growing frustration with my inability to release my anger was just making me angrier.  Talk about a vicious cycle!  So okay.  I was angry.  People get angry every day.  No big deal.  I was allowed, right?  Hmmm... I got to the point where I'd ask myself constantly - "where is this coming from?  is this feeling about what's happening now?  is the circumstance of this moment generating a real emotion or is it a reminder of something else/something past?"  My usual mental analytics and gymnastics was on FULL BLAST 24/7.  "Am I just tired from traveling? not sleeping? stress?" and "How do I STOP this?"

Well, guess what?  There's no stopping it... there's only the opportunity to learn from it and allow yourself to experience it.  You know I hate the saying "It is what it is."  However, in this case, that is the honest truth.  There was no denying it, escaping it, hiding it, burying it, ignoring it or even attempting to face it and repel it.  My anger was going to run its course.  Period.

My friend Lidia has been saying to me for months now, "You just gotta experience it and let it flow through you then you can RELEASE it."  For the life of me, I had absolutely NO idea how to DO that.  It sounded good... but what was the "practice" of it?  How could I really DO it?  [See and the more the answer eluded me, the angrier I'd get... LOL]

So a few weeks ago I made up my mind (again) to stop being angry at my anger AND while I was at it to get out of my own way.  Despite traveling weekly, I still made myself get up morning when I could to at least stretch and work out during the week some how, some way.  Step 1.  Next, I started monitoring my food and sleep (I highly recommend fitbit.com).  Step 2 check.  Now at last TODAY after a week in one location - despite the stress, work, etc. - I HAD A GREAT DAY!  No Anger.  :)  WOW!

After our kayaking excursion, Lidia took me grocery shopping and I ended my afternoon of errands at Lowe's where I bought a truckload full of tools, etc. to FINALLY organize my garage.  I wasn't exhausted from the errands but energized by them!  I got home and made my lunches for the next few days... and got my food, etc. organized as well.

Back On Track!

And now tonight, as I reflected on my new-found productivity.  I realized I was HAPPY... not angry or anything else.  Just happy.  Relaxed.   PRESENT.

I missed this... I missed ME.  You ever feel like that??

It seems the decision I made to stop being Angry at my Anger was the trigger that finally allowed me to experience it, allow it to "be" and to continue to flow rather than staying blocked in my mind and heart.  That choice only a few weeks ago was what created the opening for RELEASE.  Could it really be THAT simple?  Apparently.  Go figure.

What's Next??
All I know is that I'm happy to have THIS Moment... and all the moments I had today.  Tomorrow will take care of itself.  For now, I believe I'm going to go to SLEEP.

Night.

Wire Walking

Lately I've been truly surprised at how many people are struggling.  Long-time marriages/couples are breaking up.  Layoffs.  Runaways.  Suicides.  Alcohol and drug use is up and even being praised or celebrated (check out the latest list of country songs by male singers or recent rap songs).  Seems like there is NOTHING but bad news at every turn...?

Is it that we are all going through mid-life crises?  something in the air?  what?

In my own life I've seen a serious increase in the amount of stress I am under, particularly at work, but not only there... and my ability to deal with it and release it seems to be thinning.  Hmmmm.  Have my circumstances changed?  Not really, not yet.  No.  So what's up?

I'm not entirely sure.

Last night however, I happened to see something that brought my chaotic and somewhat sad perspective into very sharp focus:  Nik Wallenda walking a wire across Niagra Falls.

If you didn't get the chance to see the broadcast, I hope you check it out on YouTube on the link above because it was simply amazing.  This was his dream come true and as he was stepping out onto the wire and walking purposefully, slowly across this wire, he was praying.  Talking with his own father as well as praising / acknowledging God.  I've never seen a more perfect embodiment of how we should all live and proceed through life than I did watching him put one foot in front of the other, despite swirling 30mph wind, swirling rain that made each step slippery, and a moving narrow road (the wire itself).  He never paused.  He never slowed, although he did run the last few steps -- as I think we all would toward our own finish lines.  He never back-tracked.

Slow.  Steady.  Forward.  Each step deliberate.

On the social net, many were mocking him.  Mocking his faith.  Mocking his attempt.  Criticizing everything from his speed, to the little harness, to his clothing, etc. etc. etc.  The few people on the net that did actually praise him or were awed by this effort were then also mocked by others.

Again, another perfect example of the negative noise we all hear whenever we attempt to do ANYthing positive.  There are always THOSE voices.  The voices of ridicule, the voices of criticism and doubt.  The voices of fear, anger, resentment.  There were literally 10 times the number of negative or mocking posts for every one positive post.

Don't we all experience this same thing?  Whether it's the negativity of others or the negative self-talk in our heads that we think is our voice?

I found myself literally praying he would not slip, could have the strength to finish his journey; that he kept moving forward... and when he did, I actually had tears in my eyes and clapped for him.

What he did truly represented the wire we all walk every day of our lives... so my tears were as much for myself and the reminder he had just brought back to me as it was to celebrate what God allowed us all to see.  Amazing, Inspiring, Humbling GRACE under pressure.

Life is a Wire Walk.

It is treacherous at times, chalk full of challenges that are meant to topple us into a swirling mist and churning waters that will break our bodies and minds if we fall.

And yet, we are all called to walk.

We all innately know we must put one foot in front of the other... and keep our eyes forward even though we often cannot see the other side or are blinded by the streaming rain or swirling misty winds.  We must move forward.

And while family and friends can support us, the truth is that we are alone on that wire with nothing but our own strength and skill endowed by God to make us move.  It is our choice to walk.  It is our choice to have FAITH in both God and ourselves.  It is our choice to prepare ourselves as best we can to MAKE THAT WALK...

God is with us.  But we must decide to walk... forward.  Rather than staying where we are or back-tracking.  He has given us what we need to reach the other side, we just have to each believe we CAN do it and then choose to make each step.

Thanks Nik.

Today, I'm walking forward.  I hope we all do!

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

Choice? Chance? or Something Else?

Life really is funny sometimes and I am always surprised at how in an instant it can change - for better or worse.  I know many people believe everything is Random Chance; while others argue for Fate and Destiny.

I tend to believe in both... but I do prefer to narrow my odds any way I can!  That way, if it IS fate then I'm doing my part and IF it's just random, at least I feel better with my attempt at control.  LOL

Today I just feel happy.

I bought football tickets to the WVU vs. Texas Longhorns game here in Austin on October 6th.  That just made me smile.  It's FUN and I do love my team(s).  While this is just a little thing in the grand scheme, it reminded me how nice it is to be ABLE to DO what I want to do sometimes.  So often there's setbacks, unreasonable constraints caused by things beyond our control, or any number of a hundred other things that get in the way of even the most insignificant choices.  So every now and then when something just goes RIGHT, it's nice to celebrate it, to savor it.  No matter how big or how seemingly small.

So what makes some things go so right and other days nothing at all work?

Well it may be a combination of the above or something else entirely.  For me, today at least, it doesn't really matter.  What DOES matter is how I deal with it all...

Call it a control issue or doing my part to help the universe along on my behalf or simply FAITH - whatever you choose - but the bottom line is that putting your VISION out there sets things in motion whether it's the law of action and reaction or God's hand at work.  It works!

I like to think God has a sense of humor as well as purpose.  He's always teaching... but I'm finding as I get older that the universal principles of faith, persistence, trust, forgiveness, and love really do combine to carry us forward on a timeless wave... AND when we stop battling to swim against the current but rather relax and enjoy the ride, it can be amazing.  But these things take PRACTICE.  It's not enough to 'know' what the right thing to do is but rather to ACT on those convictions.  It's not enough to simply dream about a better future, but rather to DO whatever we can to help facilitate that future.  Even "being still" requires activity.  It is an action not a passive state.  Okay? Yes, so now what?  Where to start?

It begins with Writing Your Vision.

What do you want?  What do you need?  What do you know?

Take the time to Think about what you want.  Large or small.  Then Write that thought(s) down.  Now Speak what you wrote out loud.  Say it.  Choose to Believe that it IS possible... and Act accordingly.

Simple formula.
Very difficult for most of us to DO.

Regardless, if you take the time and set your intention, you'll be amazed by the Power of giving voice to your own heart's desire... and awed by the Grace that will come to breathe life into your words.  I dare you to try it!  and watch your Faith arise as you start to see your prayers answered.  Because that's what these really are - intentions, thoughts, hopes, dreams - they're prayers.

Buying those tickets today made me smile AFTER I did it because when I got home, I realized I had just fulfilled my own hope.

Years ago I wrote in my Prayer Journal that I wanted to go to a WV-TX football game whenever they played, preferably for a national championship! but bowl game, whatever... I just wanted to go.  That's what I actually had written down.  I had completely forgotten I'd done that until today.  Now in the past year or so, I've talked about season tickets here, buying tickets at WVU, etc. etc. etc... but apparently I hadn't WRITTEN any of THAT down.  The only thing I wrote was about this one thing.  Very specific.  For whatever reason, today I go the urge to look up how to get tickets to this game and proceeded to buy them.  That alone made me happy... but then I had this tickling in the back of my brain that started reminding me that I had ALWAYS wanted and intended to go to this game.  I shook it off.  Silly.  And then just as I sat down to write this blog post, I remembered.  I had actually written down my request long long ago when Vince Young was QB at Texas.

Well, I'll be.........

Now some of you may discount this entirely as a self-fulfilling action... and you're partially right.  But the truth is that I still did it without thinking or realizing that today.

And isn't that the point?

Today I ACTED on behalf of my own vision from years ago.  And in a few months when I actually GO to the game, I'll have another item to cross off my prayer request list.  It's a very very small, truly insignificant detail and yet, it's on the path to coming true.  I believe this is because "even the hairs on my head are numbered" (Luke 12:7, Matthew 10:30).  I believe God cares about every single insignificant detail of my life; AND that He is working all things together for good (Romans 8:28).

Consider riding that timeless wave for yourself... and watch as even the smallest things start to come together in your life.  You'll be surprised, amazed, and humbled.  I know I am.

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

My Vision & Hope

Today would have been my grandmother's 89th birthday.  For anyone who's read this blog or simply known me over the years, you know she was one of the most pivotal people to have graced my life.  In my estimation, she was simply PERFECT...

She loved me wholly and completely.  NO questions.

She touched my heart and understood my soul intuitively.

She made me smile every single time I saw her or heard her voice.

She was LOVE to me.

She's been gone a few years now and the loss simply does not lessen over time.  But that's okay because she is ever-present with me.  Truly.

She and I used to celebrate our birthdays together.  One cake.  And we would talk... most of the time on her porch.  She'd reflect briefly on the past but generally we'd chat about "What's Next??"

So today - on her day - I've been asking myself that same question:  WHAT's NEXT?

I've written a lot here about the need for a VISION, how to determine what yours is, and steps to take to attain it... but I've never really outlined the basics of mine for you.  I won't go into too much detail here because that would literally take writing out the tons of pages in my Prayer Journal but I hope you know that I am absolutely serious when I say WRITE IT DOWN!  I write in depth, down to the smallest detail every aspect of my hope... but here is how I began.  These pieces led me to fill in more and more along the way.

Angela 101 Vision Basics

1. I want to have a positive impact on every single person in my life that I meet.  I want each one to be better off for having known me, if only for a brief time (allow me to be to others what Gram was/is to me).
2. I seek to love fully and completely, with courage and faith, ever believing in love's pure power to transform and heal.
3. I ask that I am approved by God; a joyfully married partner for life;  a wise parent; a best friend; a thoughtful, fun and giving lover; a generous teacher; a debt-free steward; a patient daughter/sister; and an inspiring leader.
4. I believe I will have a safe, warm and useful home (see architecture layout, landscaping, et.al.) on XX acres of land that will be fenced in for my animals (see stables, garage, et.al.) and have awe-inspiring views that reminds me every day of God's artistic majesty and blessings (see hills, river, seasons).  This home will be close to family and friends ensuring they are part of my every day life.
5. I pray I accomplish that which I was created to do for God first - and I pray I live each day striving to do just that.  Give me the desire and vision to see what I should do and the will to make what is in my power to do happen.  Teach me to influence others as you would want to achieve Your greater good in whatever role I am in.  Show me how you see each person so I may understand first and speak/act thereafter accordingly.  Allow me to serve and bless me with the opportunity to GIVE.
6. Grant me grace for today and bless me with ongoing health for the remainder of my life.
7. Bless me with a partner for life who loves me as much as You do, Lord and who recognizes my worth and our strength together as a team who each loves according to 1 Cor 13 every day, teaching and challenging one another to be better.  Wholly loyal and unwilling to accept anything less than each other, living courageously for God and each other first.
8. Keep me humble, trustworthy, and teachable Lord but grant me the strength, courage, and internal knowing/wisdom to teach and to lead with my work, my hobbies, etc. 
9. Speak skill in/over me in all that I do so that I do it well:
1. Athletic
2. Musical - able to play the guitar well, appreciate all music
3. Intelligent with a keen understanding of scripture, history, philosophy, and literature (although I could use some help with math as well)
4. Communicator - able to speak clearly, listen intently, write eloquently
5. Leader - with David's heart, Solomon's wisdom, and Peter's faith
10. Create in me a desire to be physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually HEALTHY and strong always; opening me up to lessons ensuring I AM.

I then also created my own Bucket List of Things I wanted TO DO as well, but that is a separate list.  Nonetheless, these 10 things have been the basics for my hope and vision for my life since I was a teen.  I work at them every day and have since filled in much more detail on the WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, WHY - leaving the HOW up to God to direct.

What's your Vision?  

For today, my prayer is simple.  

I hope to be a woman like my Gram... and I hope she knows how unbelievably loved she still is.

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

Planets Aligning?

Yesterday turned out to be a really good day.  My day started by hearing the voice of the person I love, which is a great way to begin!  As the day progressed, we got to chat and just spend some time together.  It was nice.  Later in the day, I got to spend time with some friends and learned - compliments of Google Sky Map - that the planets were aligning with the big FULL Moon.  It felt like the planets were aligning!  Have you ever felt that??  Things just seemed to be moving in the right direction...

As I thought about my day, I was surprised at how genuinely HAPPY I was almost all day.  There'd been some setbacks lately, things that really got me down; but I actually laughed out loud at different times reminding me that Life could be good despite the fact that my dreams weren't yet reality.

It was the first day in a long while where I felt LITE.

When you've been through a tough time or when you finally figure out what your dream IS, it can be incredibly difficult to invoke patience.  As you're moving through the emotional onslaught of positives you tell yourself to combat the negative, it can at times feel like a Tar Pit where the more you struggle against it, the more stuck you get!  I think I've felt more stuck than not by my current circumstances, which has left me feeling frustrated and at times, sad.  So how WONDERFUL was it, do you think to actually FEEL light?

Pretty great.

The thing is that the planets only align infrequently at best, cyclically, but not that often... If you're not paying attention to those glimpses, you can easily miss your opportunity to be aware of them nor appreciate the experience.  The same is true I think for life.  I believe God creates opportunity spaces for each of us to MOVE us into the direction of our future, our vision... but we have to be AWARE.  We have to be paying attention, constantly looking for our chances to step forward, otherwise, the opportunity may come and go without us ever noticing how ONE choice could change our experience, change our future.

Doesn't mean that the planets won't still align, but rather that those who are on the look-out will likely make informed choices verses those who are blissfully unaware.  I think basically it means that the former will take less time... and for those of us with little patience, the less time, the better!

My goal is to pay attention to ALL those opportunity spaces to make sure I am making the most of each chance I get to move forward toward my dreams.  That also means, choosing not to be afraid and taking the time to stop and look at the Moon ;)

I want to be aware when my planets align... taking advantage of the opportunities and moving forward toward my dreams.

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

The Art of Waiting

I seem to struggle with the concept of "not right now."  I'm an individual genetically programmed for action.  No matter how hard I try to be in the moment - in my current circumstance -  my dreams for my perfect world are ever present creating sometimes an overwhelming dissatisfaction with NOW... and unfortunately the sadness that the longing brings makes being "present" very difficult at times.

My logical brain informs me regularly that "I" am not solely in charge of my future nor of my circumstances... that in fact there ARE others involved.  And unfortunately for me those other characters in my life's story are not presently willing or able to act on our mutually agreed upon dream(s).  The result:  I am forced to WAIT.

I used to feel that there really wasn't anything to hurry about, that I/we had a lifetime so no rush.  No need to unnecessarily upset the current apple cart but rather that things would unfold over time.

However, as I get older, watching days become weeks, weeks become months, and months become years, I find I no longer feel that way.  I essentially believe that your dreams will only come true if you take the steps to ACT on creating the future you want.

So what do you do to discipline your mind against the longing, against the impatience to allow yourself to be in your present happily without losing focus on your dream or purpose?

I think you have to follow the basic principles that comprise what I call the Art of Waiting:

Step 1 - Pray (Meditate).  If you haven't already written down your Vision - what you WANT - then you need to start there and do that.
Step 2 - Trust that God knows your heart's desire.  Remind yourself of this whenever the sadness creeps in knowing that you are LOVED.
Step 3 - Never Give Up!  Have faith and act on that faith by doing all you can to prepare your life for the changes that your dream coming true will bring.
Step 4 - Speak the Truth.  Take the risk of saying out loud what you want, what you are praying for... what your heart's desire actually IS.

This last step is perhaps one of the most important... because I believe God acts on our behalf when we ASK and He is ensured of the credit when what we ask for is granted or given to us.  He doesn't want us chalking our changes or dreams coming true to randomness or circumstances, our own brilliance or even luck or time.  He wants the credit and praise for an Answered Prayer.  Our silence minimizes His Actions on our behalf and therefore His Glory.

I think the simple truth is that we all have lessons to learn along our journey to our Dream or our Vision.  For some of us, it's about TRUST... others, it's about recognizing our own WORTHINESS - that we deserve our path and our happiness, even if we think it may not be what others may want or want for us.  Still for others it's about fighting our fears and making decisions based on what we KNOW to be True.  And the list of reasons goes on and on and on.

Joy comes when AT LAST your dream, your desire is fulfilled for sure.  But in the meantime, do what you can by honoring the journey of those you love particularly if you are waiting for a mutual dream to come true.  That doesn't mean sit idly by but it does mean there is something essentially active about learning to WAIT without fear or judgment.  Make sure you are doing your part -- all you can -- from speaking your truth to actively changing your circumstances where you can... and then encourage those you love to do the same.

Perhaps once you and I perfect the art of waiting, that lesson will be one of the last pieces needed on our journey toward our dreams coming true!  I sure hope so...  ;)

Food for thought, right?

THINK.    WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

I'd love to hear about your journey!  Please share your stories of waiting and/or subsequent fulfillment.  I'd like to know how you made it through or if you're still waiting too?!