What's Important?

Have you ever had someone come into your life who was so unique, so special, so completely different from anyone or anything else you had ever known - you thought they must be 'something else?'  She or he was so much MORE, you couldn't stay away.

The Twilight movies capitalize on that romantic dream.  They promote the notion of a perfect individual and a near-perfect love... oh and of course, the turmoil that creates.

What would a true love affair be without turmoil?  without the plot twists and conflict?  without the hero or heroine being forced to make a choice?  and often without having to choose between two people who love you or you love (as the hero in your own story) - the love triangle?

I believe everyone wants to be loved.

For most, the dream is to love and to be loved... to have the family? career? maybe... but almost always, we want the loving, sexy spouse/partner who is all the things we WANT but also what we NEED.

In our scenario above (as with most books, movies or stories), the love triangle is one where the good guy/girl (e.g., Bella) must choose between the person who may be better FOR you/them (e.g., Team Jacob) verses the one you truly love who in all likelihood comes with challenges (e.g., Team Edward).

The first one is safe, probably the choice friends and family would prefer, and the one that makes the most sense.

The second one is a risk, most likely the choice friends and family would cringe at, and the one that makes absolutely NO sense... except in the center of your soul.

Have you heard the expression, "Life often imitates Art?"  Well that's true enough... as is "When it rains, it pours."  You've not had a date in 10 years then suddenly you start dating a nice guy and WHAMO now you meet 4 other guys who want to take you out.  Hmmmm.

Here, I talk about dreams.  Your vision for your life.  What you BELIEVE... whether we are talking about love or a choice between jobs (staying in your current safe one or taking the risk to follow your dream) or any other of 100 scenarios - the message is the same:

THINK about who YOU are!

Will it make you happier to stay where you are, to appreciate what you have, and to just 'be?'  Fifty years from now, will you look back and regret your choice?  

• If you can positively answer these, then you KNOW yourself and you KNOW your choice.  Follow that vision for yourself and embrace your truth.  At the end of the day, you value stability - so your vision should reflect what you want!
• If you would like to be able to just 'be' but in your heart, you still need that other person or dream about something different then take the risk and embrace that truth.  At the end of the day, you won't truly be happy with anything less.

So what's important?

THINK about what YOU need.  WRITE down what's really true - not a list of Pros and Cons but what your dream, your heart's deepest desire actually IS!  And then BELIEVE in the possibility of your happy ending and ACT on that!

Don't let fear, doubt, or any negative thought keep you from what is meant for you!  Those things only tear you down, keep you in the past, and will destroy your Vision.

You'll never see clearly if you see the world from that vantage point.  Take your power back! BE who you are meant to be!  Be with who you are meant to be with! and DO what you were born to do!

Choose based on what YOU want, what you really WANT... no one else.  Just you - without fear. 

     (NOTE:  If you don't know, then you owe it to yourself to FIND OUT!!)

The rest will take care of itself.   ;)

Let's Goooo Mountaineers!

The hometown boys have made it to the Final Four and one step closer to their dream of a National Championship!  Coach Huggins says: "...believe..."  The sports writer, Dan Wetzel summed up this story and the hope of our state beautifully.  Please click on the link to the article below - it's worth the read:

        ARTICLE:  Why Not West Virginia?

They have a dream.
They have a vision.

As a West Virginian, I couldn't be more proud.  Country Roads ARE my home.  YOU can do it!!  We believe in the dream!

LET'S GO MOUNTAINEERS!!!

Mind Control

What stresses you out?
What makes you worry?
What makes you afraid?

Have you ever been tormented by negative thoughts?  Most of us have at one time or another.   And generally we experience this phenomenon when we're thinking about something that matters to us.

Hmm.  Wonder what that might be?  A dream, maybe?
A hope.

A vision, desire.
Or perhaps something or someone you love?

Imagine for a moment.  Think about the one thing that matters most to you.  Think about your dream.   Once you do this - can you picture it?  Can you SEE what you want?  Can you focus long enough to fill in the details of that vision?  If yes - NICE JOB!!!  If not - why not?

What happened?  Any thoughts like:

• "That can't happen."
• "Just let it go.  She/he doesn't want you."
• "Move on.  There's no way."
• "Why think about what you can't have?"
• "You don't have time for this."
• "You don't deserve ___________"
• "You can't afford _____________"

Or any number of similar, equally depressing thoughts.  Now, why on earth would such incredibly positive, hopeful thoughts about your dream be immediately followed by fear, doubt, disbelief?

There are any number of theories as to WHY but so what?  The REAL question is what do you do about it????

I think of this like the Rocky III movie / fights against Clubber Lang!  In the first part of the movie, Rocky has what he wants but the worst thing that could happen to a boxer happens.  He loses his confidence.  Then just like life sometimes, Rocky gets kicked while he's down.  Mick, his manager dies before the big fight.  He goes in - distracted, afraid, full of doubt - and gets his clock cleaned by a VERY focused albeit mean challenger.  (Sound familiar?)

Enter Apollo.  Former champ, former foe.  (Yes, God has a sense of humor:  Our support can often come from the most UNEXPECTED places)... He starts to work with Rocky.  To TRAIN him.  To get him back into shape and ready for the rematch.  BUT, Rocky is battling his own mind... and it comes down to FEAR!  He admits to Adrian:  "I'm afraid all right?  You wanna break me down?!  I'm afraid!"

He has to overcome his own MIND.  His own fears.  He has to FIGHT himself and defeat those thoughts first before he can enter the ring.  As Adrian forces him to confront the TRUTH rather than all the EXCUSES -- ("I don't want this no more."  "I don't want to lose what I got.") -- he is able to OVERCOME those negative thoughts.

It was those thoughts - those doubts, fears - that were keeping him from his dream.  Once he faced that, he was able to slowly overcome it.  His attitude changed.  He focuses.  Then he faces the physical representation of his fear:  Clubber.  And ultimately - he wins!

What is the thing you are afraid will prevent you from obtaining your dream?  Say it.  Own it.  Now, what's the physical representation of your fear?  Recognize it.  Face it. Stare it down and when it says "you're going down!" or "I predict pain" -- look it right in the eye and say "GO FOR IT!"

YOU can overcome it.  REFUSE to accept those negative thoughts.  When they pop into your mind - reject them.  Imagine Rocky's face as he stands toe to toe with Clubber before that final fight... and remember to get MAD and say to those negative thoughts:  "COME ON!  HIT ME AGAIN!  YOU AIN'T SO BAD!  YOU AIN'T NOTHIN!"

You have the Power!  Take control of your thoughts!  Fight back!
Your dream is worth it.
You are worth it... and you deserve to WIN!

       THINK.        WRITE.       BELIEVE.       ACT.

What do you want?

I was recently asked if your dreams could make you sad?  I thought about it for a moment and then answered that I believe only UNFULFILLED dreams make you sad.

Some of the saddest of these would be when you lose someone or something you love; or worse when you have experienced real love and somehow something goes wrong.  Either you make choices that disrupt it, she/he does... or the universe intervenes.  In most cases we often feel as if we are helpless participants or remorseful beings left to the vengence of God or the world's unforgiveness.

The thing is that in most cases we are not helpless or powerless.  We are not meant to be on the sidelines watching our story unfold in ways that hurt us.  Yes, we are usually given the opportunity to 'learn' from our mistakes.  But wouldn't it be GREAT if we could learn the lesson BEFORE the pain? WITHOUT the hurt?

To that end, I believe we DO have just that opportunity.  We are EMPOWERED to embrace and invoke our dream - our vision for our lives.

So the question is:  What do you want? (Scene from The Notebook)

We / I / You have a choice.  We are always given a choice.  A choice to stand idly by and watch the love of your life drive away... A choice to choose Lon over Noah (see clip above).  A choice to stand against whatever negative circumstance is between us and our dream...

Nothing short of death will keep me from my dream.  I am committed to it.  I believe in it.  I breathe it, see it, stand on it, hope for it, and act -- sometimes even beyond what I dare -- to move toward it.  And I won't give up on it until the deserts flood and the grass turns blue.

Refuse to settle for the person just like you (your Lon).
Refuse to settle for just a job.
Refuse to settle for anything less than who or what you are meant to have...

Because when you do settle, deep down inside a piece of you dies.  The heart-light hope, childlike faith, and twinkle in your eye that brings that SMILE you can't hide feels the weight of that sadness.  You can run from it, stay so busy you try not to notice it... and you can deny it.  It will only surface at odd times - you'll wake up in the middle of the night and realize!  or you're sitting alone in your car when the haze lifts from your mind for just a moment and you FEEL.

It's in those times that you KNOW what you chose... or what you didn't.

More often than not, people believe the lie that the fear is bigger than the LOVE: 
     Fear of hurting others - who they are with now or their families... 
     Fear of being hurt again - why give up the simple life to take a risk?

We all love the movie "The Notebook" because Allie chose LOVE.  She risked what she had for what she dreamed... she refused to settle.  And in the end their story, their love, overcame in this life and transported them to the next.

I believe love really is THAT powerful.  So what do you LOVE? What is your passion?  What is your dream?

Don't let your dreams go unfulfilled - take the risk and defy that sadness from ever entering your world!  CHOOSE.  You are the only one who can.

       THINK.       WRITE.       BELIEVE.       ACT. 

Voice of Your Dream

I love music. 

The lyrics and melody of a song can eloquently capture so much, telling a story, relaying an emotion from love to heartbreak, triumph, failure... and everything in between.  I can't sing but I act like a rock star in my car and the shower most days.  It's my safe space.  Being home alone is another bonus because you can have a Risky Business solo anytime you want!

I haven't felt too great lately suffering from infections, bronchitus, fatigue - you name it.  So today was the first day I didn't cough myself silly AND (happy dance) it was SUNNY outside!  What did I do?  I blared my iTunes in my car and SANG!

Most people relate to music that speaks directly to them about where they are in their life.  For example, my parents LOVE 60s songs because it reminds them of their wild days in and after college.  It's amazing how they can actually ROCK OUT when The Temptations, Four Tops, or Smokey come on.  For me, I go through phases but I can honestly say music grounds me.  Sometimes it's spirtual, sometimes it's a ballad or a rap song and sometimes it's rock.  In all cases, I can get lost in the music...

I mentioned I started playing the guitar last year.  It was one of those things I wrote down (hint).  I find that I listen less to the words of a song now at times and more to the melodies or the acoustic guitar solos which is new.  It's a different perspective... and in all areas of my life, I do love learning a new perspective, whatever it is.

Today, I realized as I was singing that despite recent setbacks and days when I felt NOTHING at all was moving me forward toward my dreams, that I was merely in the bridge of my life's song.  The chorus is coming soon and the verse I'd been waiting for was just around the corner...

It brought me back to the power of the lyrics and the melodies.  These are the words and notes or chords that were WRITTEN down so they could be replayed.  Your Dream Journal should be like your favorite song -- allowing you to sing out the tune that is your Vision for your life:

It will inspire you. 
Remind you.
Transform you.
and empower you (and others) to BELIEVE!

...for the same reason that learning the actual words to your favorite song is important, so is learning (writing down) the words for your Vision.  It's the Voice of your Dream.

Don't be a Singing Bee contestant in your own life!  ;)  Take the time to write down the intro, verse, pre-chorus, chorus, bridge, (collision) chorus, acoustic guitar (instrumental) solo, outro and of course, the ad lib elements for your life's vision.  You are the only one who knows the melody of your song...

Once you Write It Down, don't forget to SING!!!!

Oh yea, one more thing:
The great thing about music is that others can join in and sing along too...  That said, Thanks to My Soulmate for BELIEVING in me and reminding me of the power of that simple faith.

     THINK.       WRITE.       BELIEVE.       ACT.

The Little Things

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like you've been catapulted into an alternate reality?  You look around and don't recognize ANYTHING... and find yourself questioning "what happened?"

Yea - that was my day today.

Interestingly at different points though, I found myself seriously thinking about the stressors in my life, the things that bring me joy, and of course - my Dream(s).  Finally after a while, I pulled out my notebook and started reading through the list of dreams.  I hadn't looked at it for a few weeks and I was surprised to find some of the items I'd listed had happened.  These were the smaller items but very specific things.

Despite feeling off balance by circumstances during my day, these little victories grounded me. They increased my faith and belief in the POSSIBILITY...


So pay attention to the little things! 

When you DO get an email or text from the one you love just saying hello - savor that... especially if you prayed that the two of you would get closer for example.

If you listed that you wanted to experience a REAL heartfelt laugh at least once a day - think of the unexpected moments where that has happened for you lately.

Give yourself the space to ENCOURAGE YOURSELF!  Remember by writing things down, you not only have a record of your requests, you create your own Belief or Vision Log that will help you see the positive events that happen as you travel toward your dream.

     THINK.       WRITE.       BELIEVE.       ACT.

Courageous Dreamers

"Courage is the price that Life exacts for granting peace."  Amelia Earhart

When I was six years old, my Mom gave me a picture of Amelia Earhart for my desk.  She told me the story of a woman in the 1930s who defied convention and dared to dream - following her passion.  She was a pilot.  My Mom told me I could do or be anything I wanted.

Thanks to my Mom, I read books like the Three Musketeers, Robinson Crusoe, many of the Greek tragedies, and even read the Encyclopedia Britannica by the time I was about 11 years old.  My grandmother's best friends, Marion & Sam had collected National Geographic magazines for years having an entire wall shelf of them in their basement that they patiently allowed me to borrow two at a time.

My parents encouraged me to play sports - tee ball, baseball, basketball - and yes, I even played touch football with the North View crew at the park across the street from where I lived until the street lights came on.  The boys let me play because I could throw a spiral and surprisingly I could catch, making me a great wide receiver because none of them wanted to guard a girl!

Growing up, I watched movies like Little Women and Bringing Up Baby with Katherine Hepburn - who wore pants!  Even, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner with Sidney Poitier.  Mom would try to find movies with strong women in it for us to watch together... although I never knew that's what she was doing at the time.  I just thought they were great stories!

Great stories.

In this way, my mom was teaching me to dream.  To believe.  To imagine and to know that the only limitations I had were the ones I placed on myself.  Much like Joey Drayton (the daughter in Guess Who's Coming to Dinner), I was completely oblivious to artificial barriers like race, sex, or religious differences... looking back, I'm amazed and incredibly grateful.

I was taught to dream.

I was taught what courage was... heroism... and the need to serve.  Mom introduced me to history.  I learned about Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., Bobby & Jack Kennedy, FDR, who the 82nd Airborne was, but also what Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini did.  She balanced that with movies like "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" and "It's a Wonderful Life" which is probably my all-time favorite movie.

Mom let me stay home from school on the day The Challenger shuttle was to go into space.  As a teacher, she wanted us to watch Christa McAuliff - a teacher - make history... so we sat hand in hand watching with excitement and then cried together as the tragedy unfolded.  Here again, she blended a love of history with making the time to share a moment together.

But even then, even when we watched a tragedy - Mom took the opportunity to remind me that Christa knew the risks but dared to dream anyway.  I remember that because it was one of those moments where Mom looked me right in the eyes.  She wanted me to HEAR her.  The DREAM was bigger than the tragedy... bigger than the risk and the failure.

Why does this matter?

As we go through life - whether it's with our kids, friends, co-workers or family - it's important that we remind one another that it's more than okay to dream! 

Take the time in however many ways you can think of to teach your kids or your spouse/family, etc. to DREAM!  to BELIEVE!  to have a VISION!  (even if that's watching a movie together)... When you do that, you are instilling courage and it's THAT courage that will see them through and help them reach their goal.

Fear is overcome by courage.  Courage provides the confidence to ACT and to BELIEVE...

Amelia also said:  "The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward so ...decide...whether or not the goal is worth the risks involved. If it is, stop worrying..."

Empower those you love!  Teach them to Dream!  To Dream Courageously!

     THINK.       WRITE.       BELIEVE.       ACT.

Power of Perspective

Have you heard the phrase 'perspective is reality?' or other references to each person's point of view being Truth for them?

One of my favorite movies - Something's Gotta Give - has one of the VERY best lines ever in it:  Harry says, "I never lied to you.  I have always told you some version of the Truth..." and Erika interjects as she shakes her head saying "The TRUTH doesn't have versions!"

Now how true is that?

We laugh.  We nod.  and yet - if we're honest, we all have Harry-moments when all we know is the Truth according to Us.  No matter how unbiased and fair we think we are - no one is immune because no one is that perfectly clear-headed all the time.  Well, except for God, right?

This has advantages and disadvantages.

On the advantage side - it sometimes gives us unerring focus on what we believe to be 'right.'  On the disadvantage side - it sometimes gives us unerring focus on what we believe to be 'right.'

I personally believe in the power of words - written and spoken.  I believe in speaking  positives and refusing to allow negatives spoken to or over me to go unchallenged.  So when faced with life's hardships or heartbreaks, I rely on what I believe... on what I know... on my faith - which by its very definition implies the need to suspend what I think I know or see in favor of something else, something more.

So does the Truth really have versions? or perhaps that singular notion of the Truth only applies to events?  Hmmm, well it gets cloudy again because each person will experience an event or circumstance differently, right?  In my search for a black and white answer, I kept coming up with more gray... then I laughed at myself.  The Socratic Method never really worked for me, it always created more questions than answers as does Plato's Cave Allegory that implies none of us have the capacity to truly see or understand the Truth - Reality.

Yes, from college till now, the circular logic still makes my head hurt.  We can debate this as most have done for centuries... But does it matter?

For me, at the end of the day, I realize that keeping it simple is the key to peace... so here's some advice - just remember that whatever you are facing in this moment is temporary.  The Truth may not have versions; it may just simply be that it IS what it is.  But there's Power in Perspective because it's the one thing you really can change!

When we do, we often find we are one step closer to our dreams...

     THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.