There's a reason
music is the universal language.
How many times have you heard a particular song or lyric that moves you? makes you feel, truly feel the depth of an emotion? elicits a memory? causes you to daydream?
I've often thought music is one of the ways God speaks to us. I know it's one of the mechanisms He uses to get my attention or to remind me or prod me. These past several months I've experienced such a broad range of
emotions and
events I found that I needed time to absorb it all.
I've been
marinating for months and slowly cooking for the past several weeks.
BING
Yes, my timer went off today. Not that I'm a completed project by any means... No, but I did have an
awakening earlier today. I realized something about myself that was
profoundly provocative and
wholly unexpected. Apparently, I am told, that happens when you allow yourself the time and space to do some emotional work. Hmmm...
2014 was a year of
significant change for many people. I've heard countless stories of upheaval, loss, life-altering experiences, and movement in multiple ways. This was true for me as well. Surprisingly, despite being what I thought was a well-rounded, healthy human, in the midst of all this change, I fell into some familiar patterns that caused me to then make less than positive choices. As a result, I've been working on myself in an effort to understand it all and work to continually become a better, wiser person. I've been reading, writing, talking, hiking, changing my food habits, sleep habits, tv habits... overall habits, etc.
Despite a lot of new insights I still kept asking "but why?"
"Why?"
And try as I might, the lens was always just slightly out of focus, which I have to say is maddening for a Type A personality. I couldn't quite
see...
About a week ago, after receiving more sage advice about
'Letting Go' and relaxing in this wilderness I'd been in, I finally quit resisting and rebelling mentally. No more mental tantrums or explanations, justifications, and whining. I finally reached a point where I said
"okay, enough. I surrender."
From that point on, I felt the fatigue in my neck and shoulders start to give way and I really did begin to relax. The fact that my physical body responded so quickly to my declaration made me laugh out loud at times. I literally said, out loud to myself in the car
"it cannot possibly be THAT simple."
But it was... and has been.
I allowed myself to go away to the mountains for the weekend to relax. I began listening to music more and started to refocus on activities that made me happy.
And today, without any drama or significant effort on my part, I got one of my
"Why-answers." The answer and it's impact came to me... and I saw it so clearly for the first time that I felt the earth actually shifted. I started shaking all over at the reality of it.
I was finally at a point where I could
HEAR it. It wasn't anything that someone could have told me. It wouldn't be mind-blowing to anyone else but me... but it was something I needed to know and learn on my own.
There really is truth in hearing that
still, small voice... to learning what it means to '
surrender.'
As I began to absorb this information shaping a new reality and awareness for me, I chose to start listening to music to resettle my mind and heart. The song that came on was by *
One Republic called "I lived." It spoke to my soul, made me smile fully and sing out with all my heart.
I realized that so far,
I swear I've lived... just as the lyrics in the song suggest.
And that is a beautiful thing.
I hope you take time today to FEEL and to allow yourself to surrender into whatever you've been resisting or rejecting... and I hope you'll listen to some music that brings you as much joy and release as I felt earlier.
