Time to Renew

I do love Easter Sunday... it represents everything good.  It's about REBIRTH and RENEWAL in the most basic sense and yet it's so much more.  For the spiritual or religious, it is the celebration of all we believe and hold to be true.  For others, it still means much the same - rebirth.

What is it about renewal and rebirth that is so essentially human?

We crave it.

We all long for some way to begin again.  Some way to revive, renew, resurrect.  It may be a hope to fall in love again with a spouse; to start life over with a career or purposeful work vs. a current job; or simply finding a lost love like playing the guitar, rebuilding an engine, planting a garden, sailing a boat...or it may be as simple as choosing to eat healthier and exercise.  We look forward to retirement so we can do just that!  ;)

The wonderfully beautiful thing about being human is that we actually possess the capacity to accomplish this.  We CAN choose to begin again.  To shed the old and find renewal and rebirth.  In the process, we experience freedom, joy, forgiveness, peace and so much more.

The good news is that we don't have to wait for retirement or an annual Easter celebration to ignite this process.  But since it IS Easter, why not start now?

What is it that needs to renewed in your life? or is it simply that YOU need to be renewed and reborn?

Take a few moments today to THINK about that question and then WRITE down what you want to renew.  Choose your words.  Just start there...

It's time to renew.

THINK.     WRITE.    BELIEVE.     ACT.

Dolce Far Niente

I'm Italian and Irish... but I was mostly raised by the Italian side of my family... and I had the opportunity to go to Italy a few years ago visiting Rome, Florence, Tuscany, Venice, Naples, and the Isle of Capri.  While there I was reminded of something my Gram used to say to me whenever I'd ask her what she was doing?  Typically she'd be sitting on her porch when this conversation would occur... but in short, she'd grin and say "Nothing."

Now this wasn't the 'nothing' in the general teenage angst sense, nor a sarcastic retort.  NO, this was simply the truth.

After she'd done whatever chore she'd deemed necessary that day, she'd go out and sit on the porch (in warmer weather) or the basement couch (in winter) with a beverage, some bread, cheese, salami or pepperoni, etc. and just SIT.

The last few weeks, as I've been getting over my Texas allergies (yes, we have them in winter not spring), I've been rediscovering myself.  Of course there's nothing like a trip to where you grew up to bring back into focus the Real You... who you are at your core.  Anyway, in this continual journey of self discovery, I've begun 'centering' again asking:  'What do you want?'  'Are you happy? and if not, why not?' 'What makes you smile? feel accomplished or whole?' and then I came to realization that over the last several years, I've nearly forgotten how to RELAX.  I get glimpses of this state of being known as 'peace' or 'relaxation' but overall, on a regular basis, it eludes me.

I am a Type A personality.  Always seeing what else "needs to be done" and classically "never satisfied with the present."  

I'm a visionary.  A dreamer.  Yet, I also have the ability, talent, skill or gift needed to make most dreams or lofty goal a reality when I set my mind to it.

While that's a wonderful quality for most things in life, it is also the very thing that sets me in constant conflict with "the art of doing nothing = DOLCE FAR NIENTE"

What is 'dolce far niente?' It's an Italian phrase literally translated as "sweet doing nothing" but also means "pleasant relaxation in carefree idleness."  WOW.  Look at each word in that phrase and do your best to absorb the delicious meaning of it all...

PLEASANT

RELAXATION

IN

CAREFREE

IDLENESS

Seriously?  Is that even possible????  

Not just 'relaxation' but 'PLEASANT relaxation.'

"IN" not 'of' or 'for' or 'about' but "in" as in immersed, subsumed, whole...

"CAREFREE" = without care, worry, concern...

"IDLENESS" = Stillness.

One of my favorite quotable bible verses is "BE STILL (and know that I am God)" Psalm 46:10.  Oh how I struggle to "be still," to "wait on the Lord."  Many times I seem utterly incapable of 'stillness.'  Eastern religion, the practice of yoga, and so many other things from spirituality to psychology all have elements designed to tame the human mind because we equate STILLNESS with PEACE.

Stillness for me is not 'emptiness' but rather calmness and quiet.  And it most definitely requires PRACTICE because I'm always, always, always "doing" something.

hmmmmmmmm...

Once again, I'm realizing how very RIGHT my grandparents are.  There is a beauty in the simplicity of being verses doing.  There is something essential about taking time to be still.  There is something necessary and healthy and human that requires us to relax.

In this case, I fully believe the Italians have the right frame of mind:  DOLCE FAR NIENTE, everyone!

On this Sunday - the biblical 'day of rest' - put aside your 'need' to 'do' anything today and instead seize the opportunity to do NOTHING!

I am.

It's time.

THINK/FEEL.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

The Simpler Things

Last weekend I flew to my hometown, Clarksburg WV to visit my family and spend time with my grandfather.  The family decided to throw Pap a surprise birthday party in our church gym for his 90th birthday.  Incredibly, close to 150 family members and close friends came to celebrate him!

Pap with his kids

He walked in thinking he was attending a political fundraiser only to be met by The Godfather theme song and a cheer of "SURPRISE!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"  He quickly recovered and proceeded to delight everyone with his usual humor.  My dad toasted him, our priest blessed him, children flocked to him, and everyone kissed and hugged him.  My uncle made the BEST homemade peppers and sausage in true Italian style.  My aunt and cousins who coordinated things kept things moving along... and my youngest cousin was delighted to finally get her wedding dance with Pap who was too sick to dance at her wedding this summer.

It was a beautiful celebration of life and love.

Pap with his sisters

Now I don't know about you, but I don't know of too many 90 year olds whose birthday would bring so many people together just for the chance to celebrate HIM.  He never ran for office.  He held simple jobs as a grocery clerk and car salesman for a time.  He's a devout Catholic and equally devout Democrat but was a private person overall.  He had a small garden.  So what was it about this now frail old man that would engender so much love and respect?

His heart.

Pap has ALWAYS loved loved loved children... and they've always flocked to him.  Pap adored his wife and still loves her fully though she left us five years ago.  And Pap loves to LAUGH and make everyone around him laugh!  He jokes and tells stories that make you laugh till your sides hurt.  Despite his Italian temper and stubborn streak, he can just as quickly shift into a joke with an infectious grin.

When my grandmother was sick, Pap would take a fresh loaf of Italian bread from our local bakery and a jar of his canned peppers to every doctor, nurse, aid worker in thanks for their taking such care of his beloved.  Anyone who has ever shown him a kindness - from bank tellers to handymen, from sick friends to teachers/coaches of his grandkids - got a jar of those peppers and some bread.  It wasn't payment, it was a gesture of love... followed by some sort of joke and a laugh.  He loved and appreciated people.  It was that simple.  His only request from everyone was that they return his jars to him.

He and my grandmother lived in the house he and his friends built.  She told him what she wanted and he figured out how to build it for her using nothing but the best materials.  It wasn't built quickly.  It took him months and months to gather the money and resources but it was built perfectly.  Every decision from the type of lumber to the small enclave for the Blessed Virgin's statue, the use of plaster for the walls and lights in finished closets were all detailed loving touches designed for her.  He and she LOVED their home.  It wasn't thousands of square feet but was just what they needed.  Nothing more.

Our family loved their home too.  It was a place of love, laughter, and great food!  Amazing memories.

I adore my grandparents.  There is nothing I wouldn't do for them.  It's an overflowing cup... so as I think on my own life, I am reminded of what truly matters:

It really IS the SIMPLER THINGS in life that make it sweet, joyful, fulfilling.  

My grandparents knew how to LOVE.  They spent their time not working incessantly, nor acquiring more things but rather just living and doing what they enjoyed!

My grandmother actually loved to cook and bake.  She smiled as she cleaned every inch of her home each spring and fall because it was HERS.  She lovingly washed clothes and hung them out on the clothes line to catch the breeze and then ironed anything that needed it because to her, each thing she did was an expression of love not a chore.

Together, despite loss and hardships at times, she and Pap found ways to still laugh at and with each other most every day.  They went to church every Saturday night and had Sunday spaghetti dinner ready for the family every weekend.  We didn't watch much TV with them.  We sat and talked either in the kitchen or on the porch.

Simple.

The older I get, the more I realize how RIGHT and PERFECT they were... and I'm taking a lesson from them.  It's the people - family and friends - in our lives that matter.  It's the memories we create with them, whether it's learning to play golf at age six with Pap or making bread and fritis with Gram in the basement or any number of a thousand other things that matter.  WHY?  Because it's the quality TIME we spend together, share together that means everything.

It's so easy to get distracted by the "To Do's" and the desire to acquire.  But just for today, right now, take a few moments to breathe in your life - smell your child's hair, make cookies with your spouse, or call your parents just to tell them 'hi' and see how their day went?  Make plans to meet your best friend for lunch at his/her home or invite them to yours.

DECIDE to prioritize the SIMPLER Things in your life... I bet your stress goes down, you sleep better, and you'll smile more.

THINK/FEEL.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

Wake Up Call

I welcomed 2013 with high expectations and a horrible cold and allergies that's lasted more than a month.  There's nothing quite like a dose of the slow dripping allergic equivalent of Chinese water torture followed by a single 9 hour night's sleep (finally) to bring life's reality into harsh perspective.

It's amazing the level of clarity you can get after having been sleep deprived for so long and then suddenly, blissfully the herbs and remedies kick in allowing sleep and recovery.

Today is that day.

I've awakened to a new reality and an awareness of how much I've drifted from my 'self.'  Despite having suffered some significant illnesses, loss of loved ones, and other heartbreak over the course of my life, I had always managed to bounce back and reclaim my heart which has been my guide.  But surprisingly the last almost two years has challenged me on many levels.

In my quest to get varying aspects of my personal and professional life on track with my Vision for them, I realize I willingly sacrificed my health and a part of my heart's healing.  I pushed my body well past its limits and forsaken much needed personal time for emotional healing all together.  I lost my self in my work mission.

So what's wrong with that?  Well, it's fine provided that it's an active verses a passive choice.

The truth is that while I recognized some aspects of this, I didn't fully comprehend that my actions were in fact CHOICES.

• I allowed my work travel schedule to require weekly trips to multiple locations.
• I allowed that same schedule to be so packed there was no room for things like meals or bathroom breaks.
• I allowed other's needs to supersede my own... AND
• I allowed my own voice to be silenced in nearly all my relationships -- self sacrificing ME in an effort to absorb others pain simply because I had the capacity and depth of love to do so.

All of which was unnecessary and a subtle yet damaging EGO trap.

Today, I've realized with absolute clarity the cost of those choices.  My wake-up call has been failing health.

What will it take for you?  What's your wake up call?

How many times in your day or week do you think you need to 'compromise?'
What are the words you repeat and allow that take you down a negative path?

Why is it that we teach ourselves to believe that we need to 'sacrifice?'

What is sacrifice?
Sacrifice has a negative connotation that often invokes a feeling of loss.  So are we truly called to 'sacrifice?'  I actually don't think so...

I believe we all need a mental reframing.
Is it really a sacrifice to exercise? to eat healthy, organic foods? to make time for our families or friends? to choose fruit vs. cheesecake?  :)  Are we really giving up anything??

We all make choices all day, every day.  What would happen if we saw our choices as gaining something verses losing something else?  What IF we choose to prioritize loving activities over "have to's"?

Is there a way to balance things that need to get done with things that make life joyful?

Yea, I think so... it's simply going to require a mental workout daily to ensure I'm choosing based on the guidance of my heart verses the chatter of my mind.

It's time to be AWARE.

(Note: I recommend watching this video on 'Introduction to Awareness' for a more in depth understanding of real awareness.  Thank you Mary!)

Time to recognize the chatter, those ego driven voices of "Should" and "Have to" and to see them again for what they are. I'm choosing today to get out of my mind and into my heart.  Where is my heart leading me today?

Hmm - off this computer and outside!!  =>

:) hope you'll ask yourself the same question and then act accordingly.

Redefining Love, part 2

No matter how hard we try, we cannot escape pain or suffering in our lives.  We also cannot escape the Truth.  One way or another, the Truth really does make you free...

I believe the key to reducing pain and suffering requires us all to recognize LOVE's power while understanding our own individual limitations and our own truth.  When we do, we begin to see that as our spirit, soul, and body aligns with our true heart's desires (vision), we unleash a power that redefines and transforms everything in it's path.

Where we can get off track is when we expect others to align with us.  Magic occurs when they do and suffering can occur when they don't.

So how do we stay on our Path?

How do we recognize the difference between life's challenges that try to take us off our Path where we learn and can overcome vs. real roadblocks designed to redirect us when we are actually off our Path?

Hmmmm.

The Truth is that only YOU will know the difference... because you are the only one who really knows your truth.

I believe God and the universe conspire to both challenge and teach us in an effort to shape our conviction (belief) and will.  Our ability to recognize and respond to these challenges refine us.  If we see these events through you're entire life's Perspective lens, we are often shown a very different Truth (in hindsight) that when accepted simply will Redefine Love.


Exhale.
Yea.................. ;)

This is what I've learned in 2012 (and yes, it is supposed to make you THINK).

My hope is that we all learn what we need so we will suffer less in 2013.

FEEL.    Write.     Believe.     Act.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

I hope you and your family and friends have a wonderfully healthy and happy Holiday Season!

Redefining Love

The cliches that all say things like 'with age comes wisdom' are all incredibly, fundamentally TRUE.  There's definitely something to be said for the perspective that comes with getting older.  Now I'm not ancient by any means yet but in my 40+ years I am coming to understand not only my own value but also WHAT I value... and that understanding is essentially about Redefining Love.

Love really IS patient and kind; believes all things; endures all things... and at its core: 

Love truly never ever fails.

The interesting thing now that's altered my mindset is that I now allow and apply these principles of love to myself.

I have realized that I'm no longer tolerant of not being loved fully which means that I have begun to rethink how I allow myself to be treated by all who are in my life.  That also means I am allowing myself to get out of my head and into my heart much more... I am recognizing the circumstances, words, or actions that hurt me and saying to those people, "That's not okay.  It's not okay for you to treat me with disrespect by not valuing me (my feelings); or not allow me to express my feelings without judgment; or simply to not care enough to recognize how your actions can or do hurt me."

I am no longer absorbing the emotional impact of the actions of others simply because I have the capacity to love them or understand them (their reasons why).  I am saying "No.  This is my boundary." or even scarier yet I am saying "This is how I feel" and actually telling the honest truth.  I am choosing to communicate differently.

At this point, it is both terrifying and yet freeing to Speak My Truth... to say to a boss, coworker, friend, spouse, family member, or acquaintance what or how I FEEL without the need to logically justify my response.  The catch however is that I am also learning to RELEASE all those people from my expectation of reaction or response in return.

Ahhhhaaaa - you knew there was a catch, right?

Yep.

You'll have to allow all those who are in your life and used to you behaving or reacting one way to get used to you responding in a new way... and that takes patience from both parties.  And it takes PRACTICE.

The miracle that results however is worth the uncomfortable work in process.

By choosing to redefine love for yourself, you are unleashing the power that LOVE is to create new or renewed RELATIONSHIP with the people in your life.  Again, the key here is love.  This is not about unloading every criticism or hurt you've ever felt, righting past wrongs or selfish motivations... nor is it about EXPECTATIONS.  Rather it is an opportunity to refine what and how you communicate so that you are doing your part to BE Present and Honest with everyone in your life.

So for this, there is only the present.  You are Writing Your Vision moment by moment through your choice to actively love:  Open Heart 101.

It really IS A Wonderful Life... and I am choosing to LIVE it.  By redefining love of and for ourselves, we each have the opportunity to experience real depth of connection with one another... and that's a beautiful, miraculous gift.

Happy Holidays!
angela