Mind Traps

A hero is made in a moment.  How do you decide what to do in a given moment? 

You can't question the past or spend your life worrying about the future.  When you expend that much energy in either of those states, you risk the moment.  In the moment is when you make the choice(s) that determine the course of your life.

Moment by Moment.

So then where does VISION fit?  How can you live and BE in the moment and still have a vision, a dream?  Is it a contradiction?

Of course not.

How do you define  your vision?  In today's headline-driven world, when and how do you find time to think? to be still? to contemplate what you want.  My premise here is that you can't get what you want unless you KNOW what you want.  Often we define it by what we don't want... choosing the negative in an effort to rule out certain options.  I believe negative begets negative so get outta there!!  The list of things you don't want could be limitless but the critical things that you DO want may only fill up a few sheets of paper.  Go with what you know, not what you don't.  The reverse (the negative) is a mind trap.

What's a mind trap?

A mind trap is something I call the negative thought onslaught that happens to prevent you from moving forward - from acting rather than waiting - from believing, choosing, doing.  It's the deception that negativity introduces telling you that you "have more time so do it later" or that lulls you into listening ONLY to the negative words.

It's the voice that says:  "You can't..." and "Don't bother..."  In short, it's the Fear Factor.  It's a decepticon!  It's the LIAR and THIEF of your dreams... and the mind trap is its tool.

So, what's a hero?

How do you define a hero?  Generally, it's a person who displays courage in the face of danger or adversity, who may sacrifice themselves for a greater good.  A hero can be many things depending on your point of view -- a teacher who shows up day after day to teach high school English; a firefighter or police officer; someone in the military; a foster parent... or simply a parent.

BUT, No Where in any definition does it say a hero is someone without fear... it says, a person who displays courage.  Courage is not the absence of fear, rather it is a choice to act in spite of the fear.


Now, stay with me here:  If the mind trap is fear actively working against you - teaching you to dwell in the negative - then a hero is also someone who actively resists that fear - any fear - and ACTS in spite of it in the positive, right?  hmmm.  Yep.  I think so.

What will it take for YOU to be the hero of your own life?

Every moment of every day you make choices.

Take a moment and identify your thoughts.  What are they saying TO you?  If there's something telling you 'this is stupid' or 'you don't have time for this' or any number of a 1000 other NEGATIVE phrases that would prevent you from considering a possibility:  TELL THOSE THOUGHTS TO STOP!

Resistance is NOT futile.  It actually works.  It just takes practice. We simply have to re-train our brains to accept the POSITIVE.  To recognize the positive... and to SPEAK the positive.

The mind trap is relentless though so we have to be vigilant.  Battling for control of the words running through our mind.

A hero really is determined in a moment.

THINK about who and what you want to be.  Now BE that.  

If you want to be a Super MOM then be the Mom your kids need STARTING NOW!  If you want to be better at your job, then DO IT better!  If you want to live a better life, then LIVE!  Don't wait.

Your VISION for your life starts NOW - with one choice at a time - moment by moment by moment.  Start walking in the positive and before you know it, you'll have become what you always wanted to be.

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

The Memories Remain...

Have you ever been stopped cold by a memory?

These can be good or bad.

It struck me how often the past resurfaces... if we're not careful, the past can and will dictate the future.  How?  You can become so consumed with what WAS, you confuse it with 'what you think might have been...' and miss your chance to choose your dream NOW.


To be clear though - now - does not mean status quo.  No, on the contrary, it means choosing IN THE NOW to follow your dream.  To follow your heart and not be bound by perceived obligation or fear.  It means make decisions right now and then again and again and again to stay - or get back - on course!  Moment by moment.

As for others,

most people need their comfort zone.  They need for YOU to be who they think they know.  They need you to stay in your box:  to remain who you were because IF they acknowledge that you are changing or have changed then their own decisions can be called into question. And unfortunately, most refuse to change a decision or an opinion once it's made.  They can confuse that refusal as loyalty, experience, or any number of other things.  The truth is that it's often fear or stubbornness.

It's often something inside them.   

Why am I saying that?

Because this is a reminder that You can only control YOU... you can only choose to control your own thoughts and the words you speak, the actions you take.  Don't allow other's PERCEPTIONS of your truth to shape your choice.  Acknowledge your own change!  Live in each moment.

Dare to always be who you are and to follow YOUR vision!  

We are all changing every day.  There is nothing in our world that is absolutely still unless it's frozen and even then the molecules may still be in motion.  - Embrace  the  Possibilities -

I asked if you ever had a memory stop you cold?
Often a good, beautiful memory can become a source of heartache if you've lost the person or thing that brought you that joy.  If that ever happens to you, work toward reclaiming your memory.  Recognizing the beauty in the moment by choosing to shut out the pain of loss while you re-experience that loved one or that event again.

Don't allow any form of negativity to disrupt your mind and afflict your heart.  You can still LEARN from your past without being haunted by it.  You can still Love and Cherish those you've lost and their amazing presence in your life without being tormented by sorrow in the present due to their absence.  [Note, I'm not talking about typical sadness or grief or loss but on a long-suffering circumstance that can be debilitating, tormenting, or prolonged to the point that it is affecting all you do].

Work toward speaking, believing, and thinking positively with regard to your past and those memories. Reclaim them!  The more disciplined you can become with your thoughts, the more likely you'll be to challenge yourself to be better, to be more... to achieve your vision for your own life.

Live in the Moment Today - making memories - but don't be afraid to decide to change or to follow a different path if that different path is your True Calling.

THINK.     WRITE.     BELIEVE.     ACT.

Interaction

Interestingly I've come to realize how infrequently we all actually ENGAGE.

If I can text a number and donate $5 in under five seconds - you GOT me!  It meets my time criteria and 'action' level so therefore involvement is authorized.

If I have to DO anything that requires thought, input, negotiation, coordination, or INTERACTION of any kind whatsoever (no matter how seemingly simple) - Forget it!  [sound annoying buzzer please followed by The Voice in Jim Carrey-esque tone saying: "Thanks for playing..."]

At first, I was a little hurt.  I took any lack of interaction personally.  I mean, hmmm - I asked seemingly thought-provoking questions, right?  I gave good directions.  Left time for questions.  Walked through the process (the "how to" piece).  So what then?  What was I missing?? (I wondered)

I was missing the basics.

I've come to realize that in America at least, most of us are just tired.  Tired of making decisions all day.  Tired of running errands.  Tired of dieting.  Tired of exercising.  Tired of never going on vacation for more than a long weekend.  Tired of walking the dog(s).  Tired of old mattresses and lumpy pillows.  Tired of getting up at 4 am and working till 8 or 9.  Tired of grocery shopping.  Tired of Male Enhancement and other Drug Commercials.

Tired of just about everything................

... so we can ONLY 'give' the $5 in under 5 seconds because at LEAST then we can feel like we engaged in something MORE.  We can feel good about that one small contribution, right?

Who has time for ANYthing else?

The truth is that none of us HAVE the time.  But some make time.  And we marvel at their generosity, how they champion those who have been hurt, are poor, or suffered.

Eventually though, if we're honest, we get fatigued by it all -- remember Haiti?  Fundraisers at work?  Darfur?  New Orleans?  now floods in Pakistan?

There's nutrition issues in schools, overcrowding and bullying.  There's political crises everywhere we look with ALL sides shouting that the SKY IS FALLING!  the SKY IS FALLLLLIIINNNNGGGG!

Everybody has a cause.
Everybody has a story.
Everybody has an opinion.

Is it any wonder then that the only thing we can stomach more than one day a week is a so-called REALITY TV show where people who've had their 15 minutes of fame learn to dance for 15 more? or nostalgic shows where we can get lost for an hour in another time or place?

Not really.  We're bombarded all day, every day.  Our minds pulled literally in about 100 different directions at any given time.  Information Overload.

HOW then could anyone possibly have a real, honest-to-goodness discussion about anything that isn't because of a conflict or advertisement:  something we're trying to prove vs. learn?

Who has time to think, let alone engage or truly interact?  Our lives are reduced to headlines or the 140 character limits of a Twitter response.

At this point, cue music / video:  "CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY!" and we smile.

We smile because we all know it's true and we long for peace.

We long for a MOMENT

But, so what?

The so-what is that life actually occurs in MOMENTS!  ...and usually in those oh-so-precious QUIET Moments that we never seem to get frequently enough.  And again, I wondered "why is that?"

Hmmmm?  And then I started to get an idea:

Instead of being on the receiving end of Information Overload, what else could I do? What ACTION could I take?!  ahhhhaaaa!

I challenge us all to ENGAGE in THREE Quiet Moments at least ONE day this week.  And yes, all three need to happen in the same day, not spread over three days............... !  ;)

Here's the Schedule:

1. In the Morning -- whether it's when you're in the shower, drinking your coffee, or that 60 seconds right after the kids leave for school or before you get in the car to drive to work, take a MOMENT - at least 90 whole seconds - for yourself to be QUIET.  STILL.  NO TASKS, NO ISSUES, NO NOISE. 
2. During the Day -- at some point between the morning and PM Rush Hour Traffic, take another whole MOMENT - this time at least 120 seconds - for yourself.  Same deal - QUIET.  STILL.  NO TASKS, NO ISSUES, NO NOISE. 
3. Before Bed -- take 180 seconds -- but this time INTERACT with someone else.  Someone you care about, someone you love.  Take a Moment to just be WITH them.  Stroke your child's hair or massage your spouse's shoulders.  Or simply, just sit with them.   Just BE in their presence... and BE Present.  NO TV.  NO COMPUTER.  NO VIDEO or AUDIO of any kind.  NO TECHNOLOGY.  NO QUESTIONS.  NO ISSUES.  NO TASKS.  No Noise.....................!

Now, before you close your eyes and go to sleep on your Interaction Day - think for just a moment about how you FEEL...  about how those three individual MOMENTS felt...?

Breathe in those moments.

Relive the memory.

and allow your mind to RELAX.

Just for this one day there's no pressure to have it all figured-out or be all things to all people or even to really DO anything.  Simply empower yourself by allowing these Quiet Moments.


Why?
because it's the Quiet moments that will give voice to your Vision!

THINK.    WRITE.    BELIEVE.     ACT.